"She's got the itty bitty babies in her hands…"
Nance worries a lot about her people. and she has so very many on her mind all the time - the homeless, the felons, the drug addled, the undocumented workers who will provide her with so many new voters, the dead - who vote like Swiss clockwork in so many heavily Democratic counties - the union members, teachers, the porn industry, members of MoveOn.org, trial lawyers, al Gore groupies, ward heelers, Hollywood actors, friends of Hillary, crank left-wing professors, the NaaCP, Harry Belafonte and his calypso party-goers, folks who called it splits-ville with Louis Farrakhan and the other sainted members of the new Democratic party.
Yep, Nancy Pelosi, our Nance, or just plain Nance, has a lot on her mind lately, especially with her old friend and confidant Herry Reid's crashing and burning in the immolation of his cherished rolling out of citizenship to the convicted crooks and his dragging of his little polished pump in the sand and nigh on demanding their inclusion in the great society he envisions our paying big time for - but it's not amnesty, not in any way shape or form. It's a fair deal. Fair dinkum, or whatever.
and there's been a terrible lot of disheartening economic news lately, if you're a Democrat fat cat, too, what with all the low unemployment numbers, the refusal of the housing market to just fizzle out and finally die, the new jobs growth, the vast numbers of the folks in the lower income categories who can finally afford homes, the fact that over 50% of americans are in on that horrible capitalist tool - the stock market - followed by the fact that the Dow Jones finally dragged itself over 11,000 line and has stayed there for awhile, refusing to vacate its house to the rightful Democratic owners. The horror of it all has affected Nance - a lot, and has cut her so deeply.
america just refuses to toe the party line and go down the drain.
But Nance can look out through all these rays of light and find those bits of darkness so many of the giddy and ginned-up economic forecasters overlook in their views from the ivory towers and their Wall Street penthouses.
"President Bush should ask american families… if they believe there is 'an economic resurgence that is strong, broad and benefiting all americans,'" Nance prated just before Congress ran out for the long Easter eggroll, realizing that somewhere beyond the 97% of those working there must be some folks in trouble somewhere, remembering the core membership of the new Democratic Party.
Not content to merely mewl over the economy, Nance thought that she'd better get a lick or two in on Mr Bush, that daily Democratic punching bag, whose picture graces every liberal dart board and adorns every progressive outhouse door, who as we all know, represents a far greater enemy than al-Qaeda, Osama, Iran, Kim Jong Il, Mr Castro, Hugo Chavez the happy go lucky belt-sanding Siamese twin of the peanut farming ex-President, taken together, before loping off into the farthest left reaches of abendlandes.
Borrowing lines from that abandoned lead mine and termite infested wooden prognosticator John Kerry, she began, "I am troubled by news reports that President Bush may have authorized Mr Libby to disclose intelligence information…blah, blah, blah…for political purposes," totally forgetting, perhaps even by design, of course, the past acts of Patrick "Leaky" Leahy, the ratting out of our spy satellites by other Democratic senators, the rearming of North Korea thanks to MS albright, Mr Clinton's selling of Loral's secrets to China, blah, blah, blah. But, Nance reminds herself, when things are done by Democrats, they're always beautiful.
But even as Nance gears up for the Easter Bunny's imminent and heralded, thought aCLU limited, arrival, is there more to her flummery than we might suspect? Is Nance afflicted by other devils?
Yep, Nance may not be in the best of moods herself.
First there was the McKinney thang. Sometimes Nance thought it'd be nice if Cynthia would just, well, act her age and behave and lay off the cops for a week or two and let Nance control the limelight.
Then there was the enormous Brontosaurus-sized CNN screw up last Thursday about the Valerie Plame leak they laid right at Bush's door step, which really had every Democratic heart in tachycardia, and had cardiologists on call with pacemakers and nitroglycerine and shots of adrenaline and crash wagons to boot, and had every leftie and pinko in Congress all running to the phones. Did they know something the Democrats didn't? Where's Harry Reid? Does Ted Kennedy know? Is it in his latest ghost-written book? What's going on?
Then it all fell apart and unraveled like every other damn CNN major story lately - they're such amateurs over there anymore. They can't tell a story from graffiti. Luckily, the bottom trolling plagiarizing idiots at the New York Times weren't dumb enough to bite on that bit of warm steaming ordure.
Then there are the old feet. The bunions. The corns. The spike heels are killing her feet. Sure the shoes, the Manolo Blahniks, the Vuittons, the Chanels, the Guccis, the Jimmy Choos take a toll on the pocket book but they're even rougher on the toes. Oh, my, the all day stints on the heels are killers. The dogs bark a lot, sometimes all night and they even wake up the neighbors. and following Bush around during the State of the Union was a real sacrifice.
and Nance is still getting over the meetings with that Madeleine albright and the insufferable Wes Clark. She and Harry did their best to get a few words from the long suffering Party faithful tossed into the Chex party mix of that meager six page travesty on defense but that insufferable Wes Clark and all of his double-talk and long meaningless self-centered Glocken-spiel gave her a migraine headache that wouldn't go away for days. and of course Wes and Madeleine had it out and won and ended up with having most of their junk in that rancid piece of pie cover.
and now it's Easter and the Party is still in the woods and time is wasting and the elections are coming and the immigration plan is stuck in the mud and Wes is a fool and the defense plan has no traction and even though Bush is nuts and the Republican Party is going down the drain so are the Democrats and Harry lost his big duffle bag at the airport with his clean shirt in it and he's on the back burner and what are the Democrats to do?
Whew, Nance needs a few days back in San Francisco where the homeless are free, where liberalism is embraced by everyone except for the few rough rogue cops you need to keep the right deviationists at bay, and where Nance can finally get some sleep out there with her people.
after all, she's got the whole world in her hands. She's got you and me, brother, in her hands. She's got everybody here in her hands.
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