Thursday saw the saddest collection of wilted suits and sodden neckties gathered since the French government bid a quick adieu in 1940, to shuffle their feet, look down at the ground, stare off into space, and wince while Wild Bill Frist offered a sad monotonic soliloquy of a plan to counter the atavistic Democratic assault on their soft underbellies at the gasoline pumps.
and not a rogue wolverine was spied among them, only gray squirrels ready for a fattened hibernation, not the budding of an active spring.
I'm embarrassed to think that top leadership of the Grand Old Party, the protectors of free trade and the defenders of capitalism, the members of the party of Teddy Roosevelt, believe that I'm playing a banjo in a subway station behind an upturned fedora to catch spare change tossed from passers by and others, inhabiting less lowly stations, to support my gasoline habit, and they're offering me some meager assistance in my travails and that I should be some how thankful for their generous tip.
But at least the tender of this hundred dollars in government fiat money has knocked the great illegal alien citizenship sell-off from the front pages for a day or so, though those machinations also illustrate the GOP's failure to understand the time value of money and their deafness to their constituents' demands.
and when arlen Specter's vulgar threats to stop payments to the NSa in a time of war over his being piqued at not being invited for weak tea and stale crumpets at the White House for something or other are tossed into this heady mix, it looks like the GOP is on the wrong side of history in both cases, though I'm not in any way saying that the pestilential Democrats have climbed out of their odiferous storm drain on the right side of either one.
Peter Stuyvesant bought Manhattan Island for 24 dollars, which has been shown to be a pretty good deal.
We'll have to see if the hundred bucks offered us by Mr Frist and his lackluster band of half-hearted cheerleaders will result in a similarly good return on investment.
But if Mr Frist can buy an election with such a small down payment, he's outfoxed the Democrats, who are trying to do it by the use of unhampered fear, yelps of duplicitous anti-trust, warbles over the destruction of the environment, vast tomes of unrepentant lies, and strident hourly pronouncements by Chuck Schumer, Hillary Clinton and a vapid new, no doubt of Oscar quality, movie by al Gore - all heavy impedimenta, indeed.
The question arises, as it always does in an offer of instant largesse from representatives of our government - who's paying for it?
Will this grand offer be a down payment on my titanic federal tax bill? Is it a one time payment? Is it going to be added to the national debt that I'll pay for later? What strings are attached to this magnanimous single offer of aid in my hour of need?
and getting back to our sainted illegal aliens, who just about everybody in Washington DC with a party card is arduously courting for their votes, real and unreal - are they going to get a free hundred dollar gas card to sweeten their almost free citizenship pot?
I mean, why not? We've given them everything else, including, no doubt, the expunging of their felony records, why not offer them free gas to ease their wholesale flight to the nearest welfare office and emergency room? and we, of course, will pay for that, too, I assume?
Bill Frist, you want to be the President of these United States and all you have to offer us is a quick c-note?
Here are a few suggestions, lowly as they may be from a small man living on the very fringes of a society going conclusively mad.
Pull yourself together, show a little backbone, build a consensus with the Republican Party - the environmentalists be damned for once - build some refineries, drill for oil in alaska, tell arlen to put a sock in it, tell Chuck Schumer to behave for 45 minutes or an hour and you'll give him a chocolate, quit worrying about your legacy and the Presidency and lead - the little children will follow.
We have the Red Chinese drilling for oil closer to the USa than we can.
Put a picture of George Patton on your wall, and if that's too un-PC, put it in the bathroom, but find something to remind you that you're in charge and that all the other Republican senators have either got to follow or get out of the way.
But Bill, brother, for chrissakes, don't spare me a c-note, it's downright embarrassing. at my current rate of exchange, at least when I last visited the gas station, it'd buy 34.6 gallons of gas - about two full tanks in the Jeepster.
and that, Mr Frist, won't get me to the polls for you.
But some real, honest to goodness hard nosed take no prisoners Republican leadership will.
Remember what Patton said, "a piece of spaghetti or a military unit can only be led from the front end," and the US Senate is all about the pasta, just ask arlen.
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