Gosh, I sure hate slandering the memory of the late John Kennedy Toole with a comparison to real honest to goodness pinheads, but there's no more apt set of adjectives for the mud puppies and galoots lolling around in the US Senate when it comes to the palaver and high dudgeon evinced over our utter lack of border security.
and come to think of it, I hesitate to drag the mud puppies any deeper into the mire. as for the galoots, so many qualify eminently, elongated caps and all.
We've got Dick I-am-a-special-friend-to-the-lawless Durbin, wailing about jeopardizing our valuable relationship with Mexico while our citizens cringe in fear in their homes on our side of the border. You know, the folks who have to take a vacation, go into town or have a party, in shifts in order to keep their homes from being stripped clean of everything they own thanks to the violent predations of the illegal aliens Mr. Durbin is rushing to sidle on up to with free giveaways.
"What we have here has become a symbol for the right wing in american politics," blathered Mr. Durbin, using his well worn dunce cap as a megaphone, to all and sundry--one upping Mr. John Kerry, who must roll his beloved beret into a muffled speaking tube--and glossing over the rank lawlessness which grips about 2,000 miles of american soil, "our relationship with Mexico would come down to a barrier between two countries."
amen, brother, a relationship as it should be until we can get this travesty of an open invasion under some sort of an ounce of minimal control. Of course Mr. Durbin and the rest of his Democratic pack of Hounds of the Baskervilles find that anyone who believes in enforcing a single valid american law for the protection of legal american citizens is a Kluxer at best and who knows what all at worst.
Hell, Dick, just throw the Constitution and Title 17 of the US Code out the window and write new ones up on the back of some manila folders, for chrissakes. Xerox them up and pass 'em around, then stop your complaining. I'm sure that the other cone heads in the senate will pass it as a bill in nothing flat.
Of course there are those two stand up comics, Senators Chuck Hagel and Joltin' Johnny McCain who petulantly profess, with straight faces, no less, that taking millions of illegal aliens, charging them a grand or two for our troubles, insisting that they learn pidgin English enough to get around a food market and use 911, importune that they're going to the end of the citizenship line and to the front of the free giveaway line, but it's not amnesty, of course not.
I mean even Senator David Vitter, recognizing the Jamaican switch being perpetrated on us all, and who has steadfastly refused to don his outsized conical kepi, called that vaudevillian amnesty Duo out on their balderdash of an amnesty plan and all he got for his troubles was an absurd retort and a tipping of the dunce cap from Mr. McCain, who advised him to, "Call it a banana if you want to…."
Sadly, Mr. McCain failed in this low-brow exchange to note the similarity of the senate's own sinking to the sublime level of many banana republics.
I suspect, however, that like the thoroughly miffed mud puppies, many upwardly mobile banana republics would bristle at the unseemly comparison with the US Senate of late and with Mssrs. McCain and Hagel in particular.
Karl Rove, fearing the worst and getting it, was dispatched to calm growing Republican fears about the President's pitiable showing on Monday night and their concerns that he may not be up for a consistent enforcement of our laws, but more in a, shall we say, Durbanesque or a McCainian way, and was duly presented with his tin-foil cap, which he proudly careened around in.
But, Senator Peter King, no hat waving simpleton he, waxed sanguinely that it appeared to him that, "The President doesn't want to enforce immigration law because he's afraid he'll inconvenience someone who wants to come into the country for a better life."
all this is done while overly tractile US Senators perform increasingly outlandish acrobatics to up-tempo mariachi music, played by thousands of foreign fugitives within hearing distance of the senate chambers.
and in a final juicy bit of high camp, the aP reports that a delightful Mr. Juan Jose Gutierrez, representing the world famous National Capital Immigration Coalition, blustered, "This is a critical moment. We oppose the militarization of the US-Mexican border."
I bet he does. Far be it for the USa to actually exhibit the fortitude necessary to slow the daily million man march across the wide open southern roadway into america by posting traffic cops, signals and a few Jersey barriers along its well worn environs.
Say, isn't Mr. Gutierrez the new controlling member of the senate?
We have photos showing him wearing his pointed cap with that eminent confederacy of dunces.
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