Home | Cover America | Canada & World | Guns, Crime, Terror | Environment | Faith | Lifestyles | Tech | Toons | Videos

UN, Malloch-Brown, Kofi Annan, psychic disconnect

UN — The last refuge of scoundrels

By John Burtis
Sunday, June 11, 2006

Hidden in all the ludicrous Democratic hand wringing over the recent and sudden loss of the long suffering Mr. al-Zarqawi is the steaming ordure being shoveled our way by the nabobs, hucksters and tarted up shills from the crime family in the dilapidated high rise on Turtle Bay — the loose association of quick change artists we're supporting to the tune of some 22% of their operating budget — concerning our failure to recognize their manifold gifts to humanity.

Ah, Mr. Kofi Annan, the noted scholar, luncheon speaker, quickie prize winner, modeler of bespoke suits - monkey blind, deaf and dumb to all the stunts pulled by his son, the UN "peacekeepers," his staff of hacks, Mr. Benon Sevan and the Oil for Food joke-arama, coddler of dictators everywhere, pal of Mr. Jimmy Carter - has selected Mr. Mark Malloch-Brown as his heir apparent.

And Mr. Malloch Brown, the failed English socialist candidate, has been a UN fixture since he left the shores of Old Blighty and has risen through the UN ranks, from usher, to coat holder, driver, and on to a slew of increasingly important jobs in the realm of refugees, from Thailand, Washington D.C., and back to New York.

Mr. Malloch-Brown also led, with the personal approval of Mr. Annan, the UN's efforts to halve world poverty as part of those great Millennium Development Goals, so far lost in the very inconvenient ozone Mr. Gore is attempting to eradicate and Commando Cody is attempting to find.

Finally, as a sure sign that he had reached the absolute pinnacle in the oh, so vaporous progressive world Mr. Annan inhabits and praises daily, Mr. Malloch-Brown was named to Time Magazine's prestigious list of the 100 absolutely most doggone fabulous people alive on the planet as it existed on the day the issue mentioning him was published in 2005.

It appears that Mr. Mark Malloch-Brown, in a frank monologue at a global leadership conference in New York City on June 7th, apparently felt rather full of himself and allowed as how America is somehow failing to properly paper and paint over the cracks and rot that mark the UN as the most beastly of international pariahs when they show up and begin pushing people around in the name of international "aid." Aid, which Mr. Malloch-Brown on prior occasions has said America is reluctant to foot the bill for, since we are all such cheapskates in the donation end of things.

On a decided roll, Malloch-Brown explained that America's view of the UN is hobbled because, "much of the public discourse (on the UN) that reaches the US heartland has been largely abandoned to its loudest detractors such as Rush Limbaugh and Fox News."

My oh my, detractors, is it, when information about the manifold failures, criminal acts, outright thievery, skimming, cover ups, enormous heaps of missing money, poor management, sexual misconduct, outrageous behavior, the perverse sexual predilections of its "peacekeepers," and the like, which routinely afflict the staff of the UN throughout the course of Mr. Annan's watch, are passed on to those who are footing a large percentage of the tab.

No, in the view of Mr. Annan and Mr. Malloch-Brown, and their knee-jerk American supporters like Mr. Clinton and Mr. Carter, these small peccadilloes must be overlooked for the far greater good that UN can bring to the world. After all, the UN is a vast employment agency for thousands who could work nowhere else, its bureaucracy operates under the loose rules of the spoils system, it allows a poorly led band of itinerant peacekeepers free reign in poor countries, it hemorrhages money like there's no tomorrow, and it allows the leaders of international banditry and rogue dictators a fancy place to gather and mock the democracies — all values our two former Presidents hold so dear.

And why shouldn't the democracies pay for the improvements that the tin horns and their embedded terrorists require to better arm themselves to shake their neighbors down?

After all, look at the poor Palestinians, who have daintily elected Hamas as their leaders, and who quaintly vow to destroy Israel. Are they not entitled to billions in largesse, with 22% from us, to aid in this destruction? Mr. Annan, Mr. Malloch-Brown and the Mr. Jimmy Carter say so. Therefore the US should knuckle under to the UN's wishes, however ethereal and outlandish in nature, and send murderers the money to kill us.

Ah, the UN. We've gone from a relatively well functioning operation under Trygvie Lie and Dag Hammarskjold to the finest of charades under Boutros Boutros Ghalli.

And today we watch an abject pantomime, where Mr. Kofi Annan and Mr. Malloch-Brown prance around in the ill-fitting horse suit, alternate feet flying outwards, shined shoes flashing in the lights, leather heels clacking on the sagging wooden stage, braying nonsense about their effectiveness to a jaded and restless audience, who have grown tired of their repetitive gambols and are increasingly restive in their demands for the return of their admission.

Oh, yes, Mr. Annan fully supported Mr. Malloch-Brown in his anti-American vituperation and went on record to say he did.

It all made perfect sense to the man who is so far out there that he honestly believes that the UN is an effective functioning operational entity, rather than its real persona of a poorly led criminal madhouse where the inane inmates run the increasingly expensive asylum. But, then again, we pay him a fifth of his salary to say so.

Mr. John Bolton says that we should curtail our monies if the UN fails to properly reorganize.

In my view, we should cease all donations until they do.

And like having drug addled gang bangers who loudly party all night as neighbors, it'd be nice if they moved away, too — far away.