The shocks from the Fourth of July are still reverberating through america, and they involved Muslims in Maine, watermelons in Hope, and hilarity in New York.
Muslims in Lewiston, Maine, a part of Lewiston-auburn metroplex, referred to by the locals as La due the bright lights and the excess of local talent in search of a break in the night spots, were shocked beyond belief when a person or persons unknown tossed a frozen pig's head, said to be the size of a basketball, into their midst during prayers late Monday night.
an obvious bit of mindless backlash directed at our Muslim brothers, the perpetrators remain nameless and on the lam, despite a growing police dragnet.
The local cops are checking the neighboring pig farms, meat packing houses, fraternities, the Elks, bars in the Bates College area, barbecue joints, hunters, the Sears Roebuck for folks who've bought large freezers in the past year or so, known grumblers about the war, cranks, letter writers to the local papers, and other town's folk known to broadcast their distaste for the growing Muslim presence in the La area, for possible suspects.
However, it is noted, with the huge influx of burqa clad Muslims into this once quiet back water, the growing list of persons of interest is outpacing the local resources and the cops are forced to devote a vast amount of their scant resources to this crime because of the outcry from the local religious leadership.
ah, only in america can somebody toss a pig's head into a mosque and kick up such a fuss when Christian churches are routinely burned to the ground, defaced, and vandalized with nary a memory of their passing, except, well, maybe one guy's.
and speaking of burning churches, repressed memories and our first black President, Mr. Bill Clinton comes right to mind.
Mr. Bill, you'll remember, could vividly remember rows of burning churches in a conflagration of such magnitude that it would frighten the FDNY's bravest and go directly to a borough call, even before the historical record shows the churches started to burn, making Bill a vizier at best and a rank prevaricator at worst.
But then Mr. Clinton overcame the shortcomings of his youth and became our first black President and built his library in Hope, arkansas, a fitting location for his gaudy racily lit overbuilt palace of a joint, partially designed or produced or donated or something by a porn producer or some such, with incredible arrays of interactive stuff and dolls, trinkets, autographed luggage, and real Indian wampum for sale or trade.
and being black, Mr. Clinton is, of course, wary and overly concerned about the merest slight which can be attributed to any callous action anywhere, with his tear ducts ready for a pyroclastic flow at the drop of a hat, gloves or a heavy indigenous fruit.
So I'm wondering why in the hell the library chose to give away free watermelons on the Fourth of July to the first hundred folk who showed up on Independence Day?
Whoa, call me crazy, but this particular activity sounds a little too zany for even the misfits at the Clinton Library administration to eke out of their three ring binders, under, Giveaways, Holiday, Free, Unique, Fruit & Vegetables, Hard to handle, Harder to stomach.
I mean they could've offered any number of other free things to toss into the visitor's bag, like photos of Mr. Bill, bobble headed dolls, pencils or pens, or rubber paperweights, but no, they chose melons. Which means, if my business schools education means anything at all, the library obtained those big boys free of charge and were passing them on before they went bad.
and just to make sure that the whole thing would fly right, they probably ran it by the world's greatest living attorney, Hillary Rodham Clinton, who was spouting off at that exact moment in New York, where she was slipping a rapier thin stiletto into the back of Mr. Joe Lieberman, a one time friend and ally.
But maybe she was too busy yapping on about her current bete noir, Mr. Joe, and proving her bona fides, to take the call and tender her expensive advice on the idiocy of this bit of New Deal mummery.
Nope, Hillary, was slicing the bonds with Joe, in no uncertain terms, when she advised the world that she will not back him if he loses the Democratic primary in good old Connecticut, the home of little tobacco and not the watermelon, nor the pig's head, should he valiantly fight on as an Independent and not as a Democrat, even though he really is.
and with the kind of support offered by friends like Hillary, Joe should run outside the party he has supported for so many years. I mean, after all, Joe has stood for america, while most of his opponents are standing with the New York Times, bin-Laden, crying for al-Zarqawi, playing paddy cakes with Judge John Murtha, taking notes when John Kerry speaks, if you can without breaking your pencil, and slipping calcium pills and a Milky Way to Cindy Sheehan while she completes her--wink, nod, snigger--fast for peace in our time, without the piece of paper and Hitler to bark about.
It's been quite a Fourth alright.
america is quite a country.
and I'll bet you that the Founding Fathers would be pleased as punch at what our Democratic leaders have done with the old place.
Maybe Uncle Bill could offer George Washington a free watermelon as he cruises the Clinton Library and ogles its wares.
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