Boy, Hillary can sure knock 'em dead as a door nail, just like she did at the acorn Carnival in a 17-minute stem winder of a cheek puffing vituperation on the continuing investigation of the Ohio electoral theft that had ball hats, berets, shirts, girdles, and puttees tossed in the air with more than that being dragged up front for quickie autographs and close, personal blessings whispered by the Big She over the sodden pile of clothing. Some of which, it was later reported, Ms. Clinton eyed as gifts for a later tax write-off and had to be dissuaded from removing it.
But she did receive prolonged applause, punctuated with screams for mercy, cries for revenge, and catcalls, for her trouble, in the midst of that most partisan of progressive crowds.
With all the goings on under that big top, you'd swear that the carnival barking end of things came pretty naturally to the former first lady and current junior senator from the Empire State--a storied locale noted for gypsy road shows, small town summer amusements, and lurid big city Democratic bacchanals, which often last for days and take squads of cops to break up.
and yet, there's growing evidence that a close carnival connection exists in the Rodham family--and a rather shabby one at that, with all the trimmings of a "loan," quick political donations, and the receipt of, gasp, no, say it ain't so, pardons from former President Clinton in his indulgence rich final heart wrenching Gutterdammerung.
Don't get confused with Hugh Rodham in this caper. He's Hillary's brother that took the up front money and never turned in the pardon request and got into the scrape for just pocketing the dough and taking the walk without dropping the dime to Bill.
Nope, here we're talking about Tony Rodham, the other brother who got caught with the girlfriend of another dude and got trounced for his troubles and thrown out of a cabin on his rear end and went golf playing with Bill to sooth his shattered ego and then felt better after some tears and attention.
So, anyway Tony was trolling for pardons at the end of the Clinton era, too, like a lot of folk were, and while Siegfried was entering Valhalla he decided that he'd grab one for the poor suffering duo of professional carnies--Edgar and Vonna Jo Gregory--a well known troupe doing a lot of bidness on the Wal-Mart parking lot circuit as United Shows, after picking up a series of loans beginning in May of 2000, finally totaling out at a serious $107,000.
Well, low and behold, once Ed and Vonna Jo got their pardons for bank fraud, United Shows could go on fleecing the village simpletons with clean records thanks to the Chief Executive, and Tony could get that new television, unlimited beer balls, a Grumman canoe without paddles, and those sharp two-tone faux alligator golf shoes, sans cleats, he'd had his eye on.
Then the whole thing fell apart, Ed and Vonna Jo hit the skids, United Shows went into bankruptcy, the loans popped into view like a beached whale at the Kerry manse, Captain Ed at the Captain's Quarters wrote the whole sad story up in a two parter, and Tony Rodham looks like a dope for forgetting about the hundred and some large he forgot about paying off while pulling seaweed all over Hillary's hopes.
You wonder why Tony Ducks didn't tell the Hill that he needed a hundred grand and that by paying him off ahead of the tsunami she'd avoid all the bad PR which is still accruing. She is the smartest attorney alive and as such you'd think she'd just pony up. But she didn't, he's an idiot and they all look cheesy as the dickens.
Somebody named Jim T. came forward to explain to Captain's Quarters that Ed and Vonna Jo, you remember, from United Shows, began sending in dough to Hillary's campaign just before their amnesty cleared the intense vetting process that enabled Marc Rich to slip through the guppy sieve, to the tune of about 5,000 bucks before the pardon was delivered by UPS, and then as soon as it was banked, they kicked in with another five, just to play it safe, and listed all their kinfolk as donors. With relatives like Donald, Faith and Jaqueline coughing up big time they and haven't sent the Clintons a dime since the deal went down.
So the carnival, not the carneval, runs in the Rodham blood, and Hillary was banging on like a real side showman, which she is, out there in Ohio for the acorn nuts.
"Don't let them pull anything over your eyes again," the former first lady hollered at the seething mass of progressive humanity, reminiscing, no doubt, about her own feverish dealings with pardons, fund raisers, Dolly Madison's rocking chair, the travel office, billing records, Peter Paul, and the rest.
Meanwhile Hugh Rodham remains out of sight and out of mind, Tony is on the hot seat and in Hillary's poor graces, though he remains in Bill's Palm Pilot under Golfing Buddies. Maybe, depending on No-Shows, Ed and Vonna Jo are worried about losing their prized miniature Merry-Go-Round, supply of cheap stuffed toys, lead bottles of milk, and other show "props." Hillary suspects Tony could've played the whole thing better, and Bill could care less as long as his money train runs on time.
and we, the citizens of a once great and now fading republic, laugh at the antics of the brilliant leaders of the party in opposition, especially when they are tied to the likes of carnival howlers through the use of pardons, uniquely timed donations, and utter imbecility.
Bill, Hillary, and Tony--big-top pee-wees.
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