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John Kerry, fatigued, looking shabby

John Kerry--Beyond the limits of botox

By John Burtis

Wednesday, august 2, 2006

There are growing concerns about the health and appearance of John Kerry, one of the Democratic Party's premier politruks and the former Presidential standard bearer.

It was recently reported on Free Republic by `pabianice' that "he looked terrible" in a recent appearance on Fox News, with fears that he was "suffering from some illness that has been kept secret."

First of all Mr. Kerry has been a busy lad, jet-setting back and forth between Washington D.C. and his beloved Boston, making speeches as recently as Monday, where he opined for the need for cradle-to-grave-John Kerry-care.

This great health care bonanza is designed to rid america of the unhealthy and the uninsured by government fiat, to pull himself ahead of Hillary in the lengthy healthcare derby by the length of a patrician nose, and to insure his enshrinement in the halls of Democratic heroes, where he can rub elbows and a growing girth with FDR and Senor Fidel Castro--champions of centrally controlled medicine.

But all this policy wonking is fatiguing for Mr. Kerry, a man not used to sitting down and hammering out the smallest of health care details, the everyday hurly-burly which is usually left to his butler, traveling operatives, and his senatorial staff.

Nope, being on the road, ensconced in cheap five star hotels without dedicated wonkeroonies like Br'er George Stephanpoulos to explain things, is doubly taxing on a man who is used to farming out all of the menial assignments to willing and able assistants. and then, having to learn the intricacies of governmental involvements, paybacks, initial offerings, big brother, working families--an anathema to Mr. Kerry--salary caps, pitying the poor children, is just plain stultifying to man who put the word stultifying on the map.

But it is tiring for a man of his advanced years with all those miles on his well worn but lubricated chassis.

Then there's all the ongoing folderol about his secret Cambodian trip which still must be defended and fought through. Some folks still have a hearty skepticism about that trip--which Mr. Kerry remembers so clearly and about the small cap he carries as evidence--which still forces him to investigate its truthfulness because of those dastardly unbelievers among the Swift Boat veterans, who continually dog his cats.

This highly onerous task is also tiring, and a waste of time because as a Presidential contender he should be believed about everything he says--he is John Forbes Kerry after all, an aristocrat and a peer of the realm.

Then there's the Hillary business and the continuing comparisons of him to her. But Mr. Kerry knows that he is smarter, has gone to better schools and possesses a far greater grasp of the ebb and flow of world politics, Boston traffic, and the neap tides in Buzzard's Bay.

But her snipings and carpings are wearisome and being on constant guard against her predations can take a lot out of even those in the finest of health and those among the fittest--of which Mr. Kerry is a perfect specimen given his age and past exploits.

Of course it's also extremely exhausting to watch the incredible worship heaped on Mr. al Gore for that questionable pseudo-scientific movie of his and how Mr. Gore is really the front runner in the Presidential Sweepstakes and that Madame Hillary and Mr. John Kerry are also rans.

Imagine a man without a graduate degree and only a Vice President garnering that many kudos. It's an affront to a man with Mr. Kerry's accomplishments at sea, at home, in front of the camera, in the marriage aisle, and on the floor of the Senate. and it has to be a put up job by the media.

Then there's the Mr. Smallweed business. People chuckle about Mr. Kerry being called Mr. Smallweed because of his past runnings around Boston, throwing himself in front of any live camera he could, being called "Live Shot" for his lengthy troubles, passing off grave comments on any inconsequential situation he could locate, then doing exactly the same thing nationally. Then folks said that if it wasn't for the Winter Soldiers and his money he'd be a nowhere man--a Mr. Smallweed.

But what do they know.

He's tried his damnedest to get felons the vote. He's pontificated on the folly of the Iraq War. He's supported Honest John Murtha in his brave endeavors and his jump to war crimes investigator, judge, and jury. He's worked hard to make illegal aliens instant citizens and Democratic voters. He's toed the unpopular lines to make america smarter and safer. He's exposed america's sins to the world. He's called President Bush an idiot. and Mr. Kerry has offered to cut and run on a time table to give our enemies a date certain for their victory.

Then again, the prolonged and excessive use of botox is said to be unhealthy.

Who can really say why Mr. Kerry is looking so poorly lately. Maybe he is ailing. But if he is, I suspect one of the real reasons is due to the prolonged exposure to the claptrap he is continually tossing around in the name of Democratic politics. That stuff'll give you the grippe.

Perhaps prune juice is the answer or more sleep, or, better yet, a full and spontaneous retirement from politics.


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