By John Burtis
Friday, September 29, 2006
The Oakland, California, police department is using a new passive audio system called the "Shot Spotter" to triangulate the location of gun shots with some level of success and to immediately direct resources to the area of the discharge.
I'd like to rework that gizmo, call it the "Cheap Shot Spotter," or CSP, and utilize it to locate and identify all the dainty liberals, terror coddling progressives, and fellow travelers tossing those unpleasant "cheap shots" around in the papers, on TV, in person, and in the blogs.
You know the phrases, leaks, posts, and speeches I'm talking about - those designed to give aid and comfort to our enemies, slander and slime honest folk, broadcast our personal religious preferences, drag our sexual preferences into the public forum for unwanted examination, heap opprobrium on the race of a candidate, cast our past behavior under a distorted microscope after a suitable Democratic spin cycle in a good union machine, and peddle just plain twaddle.
Take that bobble headed hoity-toity of a lubber John Kerry, for instance--a premier Democratic blue blood, leader of the anti-war crowd, a treacle soft, cut, run and retreater, a 70s retread, and known for his recent Palooka Joe outbursts. Mr. Kerry is also famous for the strict military orders routinely given to his valet, the lengthy time needed for the selection of linings for his handmade suits, and the Scottish plaids selected for his bespoke flannel "work" shirts.
With Cheap Shot Spotter, Mr. Kerry's crazier attributions, including his oft patented "cheap shots," will be immediately tracked and uploaded, giving us his current location, the context where he's shooting his mouth off--closeted with union fat cats, Davos, at a rollicking Winter Soldiers' reunion, lolling around Vail, at a secret MoveOn.Org cabal, a posh private Clinton birthday bash, visiting a Hollywood money nest, presiding at pitiful back yard apologias, and ogling co-eds at a campus "outreach" - or the like. and it will include his mode of travel and his own words live on the net for all of us, thanks to the new system.
Imagine how key this machine could be in countering the heaps of steaming rubbish a man like Mr. John "Smallweed" is continually spewing as he criss-crosses this fair land, serving as the faithful regimental drummer for the vanguard of Democratic socialism.
Or take some lesser but equally damaging fry, like those pestilential jamokes who use the internet to hide as they post those horrible anti-Semitic and openly racist entries on the liberal, left-wing, and progressive blogs.
Blammo, as soon as their truculent gutter sniping appears on the blog in question, CSP swings into action and automatically traces the poster back through those internecine series of on-line addresses and nails the supercilious no account. Then it posts his name and e-mail address for everybody to see, with an attached satellite photo of his or her home--robbing the sad sorry biased partisan of their anonymity. and presto, Ms. Hadassah Lieberman endures no further cheap shots at the hands of a particularly dastardly smoke.
Could you imagine if this machine was turned loose on Mr. al Gore as he jets the world throwing around his disputed facts, his suspicious figures, and his rather disturbing prognostications on the fate of our planet, whose piteous end of days is always just ten years away, regardless of the timing of his speech?
No sooner would the overly expansive media darling put down his chilled designer ice water, pick up his laser pointer and launch into the next ponderous, vapid, gloomy, and desolate description of a shrinking fellow glacier and its visible distress, through a stultifying and lengthy series of photos, then, click, the CSP, picks up the myriad of his inconsistencies and broadcasts them, with what bandwidth is available, to all and sundry.
But the CSP could be best employed by the yellow bellied caitiffs in our Justice Department.
Over there Mr. Gonzales seems absolutely terrified to corral the outright bandits, hooligans, and bindlestiffs who are stealing us deaf, dumb, and blind in the top secrets department, where they're using that brand new vacuum pipe running from the CIa to the New York Times.
You're familiar with those vacuum tubes, where you hit the drive up window from about twenty feet away, fill the plexiglass bottle with your puny check and a deposit slip and whoosh, off it goes to the teller?
Well, the Democrats have built one between Langley, Va, and the Times in New York, with a Y running to the Pat "Leaky" Leahy's office in the Capitol to carry the latest hot topics and news of note. and they used the vast untraceable NYC 9/11 largesse to construct it.
But the Cheap Shot Detector would be invaluable in detecting, identifying, and reducing the FBI leg work needed to drag the damnable traitors and ruinous poltroons who routinely use this means of passing our most telling secrets to our enemies into court.
and after fair and speedy trial, with evidence provided by the CSD, where the treasonous louts would be dragged off to a quick and professionally managed for profit public hanging, the electronic address and name of the willing journalist at Pinch Sulzberger's gaudy up town Manhattan mosque would be made available to the public‚-- just to keep things "fair."
Nope, I'm waiting for the CSD with my heart going into a near de-fib. But I'm afraid that with the numbers of Democrats, gentle understanding liberals, and far-sighted progressives presently throwing cheap shots, the machine might bog down and its sensitivity might have to be lowered just to cull out the top hundred thousand or so. But even that number would be a start in getting our house in order during wartime.
But I say plunge ahead with its development. Let's cull out the lily-livered bums, the riff-raff, and the base traitors from the decent folk.
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