By John Burtis
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
The news is as cruel lately as the Midwest's Children's Blizzard.
First you find out that Cindy Sheehan was a paid shill of the Kerry campaign all along, that she dabbles in the darker side of the internet, and you dab at a reflexive tear at that news.
and then, just when your frappacino has crept its way up your gizzard far enough to be thoroughly disheartening, you learn that Venezuela is busy purchasing its way to becoming the next member of the UN's fabled Security Council.
We all knew that the UN is nothing but the rottenest of all imaginable boroughs. It is a place where crude oil, baby food, careers, women, votes, children, and every conceivable brand of office equipment is for sale on the open market to the highest or quickest bidder.
The UN is an open and perfidious auction house where dollars are the accepted currency, but Euros, rubles, francs, pengos, and even the lowly rupee can be used to sway the end user, receiver, and owner of the private account - if it can be piled high enough - where the specie will come to rest after its hectic flight across open borders, boundaries, aisles, desk tops, and bus seats.
and the money may travel well, in tourist class, or be transported in greasy paper bags, plastic sacks, cellophane wrappers, food containers, and lunch boxes. It can even be carried wrapped around the common hamburger or tuna sandwich, and maybe even the sock.
But the money goes through the UN just as surely as the sun and moon rise, or as one wag put it, like pate through a goose. and the pay off will always land in a finely manicured and baby soft paddy cake, usually offered quietly by a tarted up foreign dignitary or his coat holder.
Today we are witnessing one of the greatest sell offs in even the fabled UN's extortionate history. Hugo Chavez, through his UN ambassador and his good graces, is disbursing hundreds of millions of dollars on the floor of the General assembly -- which is looking a lot like the floor of the NY Stock exchange, littered as it is with Hugo's IOUs - to any country willing to vote for Venezuela's being added to the Security Council.
Thanks to Senor Chavez and his full, spontaneous, and unsurpassed generosity, hospitals, schools, free oil, discounted oil, natural gas, pocket money, show money, Texas bankrolls, jewelry, palatial homes, and vacation junkets, and the glowing hagiographical testimonials and the cloyingly obsequious blandishments issued from the offices of Representative Bill Delahunt (D-Ma), Governor Bill Baldacci (D-ME), and Representative Bernie Sanders (I-VT), are being sent to the non-aligned members of General assembly as they prepare to climb aboard the forward looking socialist band wagon and vote for Venezuela.
Money, new construction, armaments, and bad will toward Bush are flooding the capitals, the warehouses of the power brokers in the non-aligned capitals, and their banks. and thanks to the largesse of Herr Chavez, who will be smashing the power of the Council and thwarting the US at every turn, he'll be doing it all on the backs of his poorest people, of course, if he can eke out a win.
and boy, Hugo will have a field day, thanks to his ceremonial passing of the dough. He'll be able to fortify Hamas, Hezbollah, al-Qaeda, Osama, the Taliban, the Tamil Tigers, Mr. Gadahn, Fidel Castro, the Lackawanna boys, and the Sandinistas for a start.
Mr. Chavez will be able to erect monuments to Mr. "Che" Guevara, aid in the needed rehabilitation of the Rosenbergs, rebuild the lost memorials to Mr. Stalin and Mr. Felikhs Dzerzhinsky, dry clean the memory of Walter Ulbricht, and resurrect the good old days of communism.
Hugo Chavez will be busy indeed if he can just carry the day with the floor vote.
all the while, he can kick Mr. Bush and ambassador John Bolton in the teeth at every turn, an outcome important to both Hugo and, of course, to the new Democrats.
The new Democrats will profit the most if Hugo can destroy the actions of the General assembly because they can show themselves to be the great conciliators, once they win control of the House and Senate.
John "Live Shot" Kerry will rise, pontificate, quibble, waffle, strut and preen, cast a great shadow, and finally offer to go to New York and meet with this latest criminal cabal for america's sake. and he will adduce, with oppressive and lifeless theatricality, as will any other new Democrat with perhaps a less elephantine delivery, whatever Mr. Chavez requires, if only he promises not to ask for quite so much in the future and promises to behave.
But you never can tell.
Mr. Chavez may not win his expensive quest for the Security Council, despite the millions spent in his pilgrimage for a purchased seat in this rotten borough on Turtle Bay.
Mr. Kerry may not get to greet Mr. Chavez in New York as a brother if the new Democrats fail to seize control of america next month, despite his own purchase of a lifetime sinecure in Massachusetts.
The first vote did not secure the sufficient number of ballots for Mr. Chavez to stymie Mr. Bush at the UN, despite the monies poured into the non-aligned countries. More money must still be piped into the willing hands of the third world's bandits for this hurdle to be over topped.
and to secure Mr. Chavez's rightful place at the UN, beyond the heaps of funny money, the casting of crooked votes, and the hurried arm twisting, the new Democrats may have to start phoning the penny ante autocrats for their little socialist brother.
Cindy Sheehan's friend's in need. and a friend in need is a friend indeed.
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