By John Burtis
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Gerald Ford will officially become the longest living President, now that George W. Bush read his obituary and his final political testament before the gleefully assembled Democrats on Wednesday, just after he expired late Tuesday night. and chief among his pall bearers will be alberto Gonzales, Doctor Bill Frist, Dennis Hastert, Elizabeth Dole, Ken Mehlman, and John McCain.
and Mr. Ford, the old naval veteran, who has been hospitalized a number of times lately, is demonstrating a great deal more lively Republican activism than his far younger counterpart, who threw in the towel so quickly at the first sign of electoral malaise.
The wake for Mr. Bush will be a drawn out affair, and is being carried around the clock by all the organs affiliated with the new Democratic Party: the official television news services, where the likes of MSNBC and CNN are carrying the minute by minute visitations by the ascendant Democrats and the quailing Republicans to the flower smothered catafalque. The left-wing rags, like the New York Times, have had a myriad of medical hucksters issue death watch warnings for months, and now they're broadcasting the results of their autopsies. and the vicious progressive blogs, where MoveOn.org is chortling to beat the band over the great man's slow public debilitation and rapid final wasting away, are seeing their traffic reach sky high numbers as their doggerel reaches new lows.
The Democratic senatorial mourners gathered outside the Capitol Thursday, where the President will lie in state, and were seen to dance together when the passing of Mr. George allen was announced.
Senator Chuck Schumer, the noted privacy advocate, Senator Harry Reid, one of the Senate's premier experts on real estate profits recognized after the sale, and Representative Nancy Pelosi, a key House ally, future Speaker, and soon to be third in line for the Presidency, were seen dancing in a threesome around a hastily erected podium to the sounds of a marimba band directed by Ted Kennedy, to music arranged by a sweaty Dick Turban. all part and parcel, they affirmed in unison, of the new Democratic elements of prolonged mourning.
But as the venerable elephant lay on its death bed, while the President entered intensive care, and the Grand Old Party began its slow spiral into oblivion, the pall bearers, knowing the starch gravitas attached to their upcoming job, rendered no assistance to the ailing pachyderm, Mr. Bush, or the Republicans.
Mr. Gonzales, thought initially to be a weak sister and a closet liberal, has emerged as a veritable weakling and master of nothing. He has failed to investigate, prosecute, and jail anyone, it appears, except for a few failed Lackawanna Boys, two Border Patrolmen for shooting a criminal alien, and investigating Curt Weldon for his exposing of the able Danger program.
alberto has given a pass to Sandy Berger, Mary McCarthy, and has totally overlooked the continual covert leaking of critical information to the New York Times and the Washington Post. and now we can be assured that he will do neither.
I once thought that Trent Lott was a bit easy going, but compared to Bill Frist, he was the Ray Nitschke or the Norman Schwartzkopf of the US Senate. Frist has appeared as nothing more than a country club dandy, or a well heeled Washington poofter, who worried far more about his stock sales than putting up any more than a decided and clearly delineated sigh and an open wringing of his finely manicured hands to counter the perpetual knavery of the Senate's most vicious Democratic attackers and stupendous prevaricators; Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, Pat Leahy, and Chuck Schumer, to say nothing of Dick Turban and the rest of the stiletto bearing bandits.
Towards the end, it became rather apparent that Dennis Hastert, a man the Democrats never attacked because they never needed to, woke up far too late in the morning to recognize l'affaire Foley for the real problem that it was. He was, after all, all too friendly with the new Democrats during Mr. Gonzales's all too feeble attempt to bring Rep. William J. Jefferson to heel, and even went to bat with Speaker Pelosi in an attempt to block the Justice Department during his prolonged bout of amnesia and Mr. Jefferson's lengthy bout of thievery. The fact that his day/date book was poorly organized merely indicated the sad state of his office.
It was said that Elizabeth Dole would bring charisma, personality, celebrity, and organization to the Republican's hopes in the Senate. That she claims to have fought a good game is falling on deaf ears as her reputation lies in tatters around the heart rending election returns. The only thanks she's receiving are from the new Democrats, especially Harry Reid, amid offers to sell Mary Kay cosmetics.
Ken Mehlman, it seems, has done little but send out e-mails, appear here and there, say very little, and act as a lightning rod for touts like that brooding toff, Bill Maher, who is slated to explain a great deal about Mr. Mehlman real soon on Larry King, Still alive, but life support is an active option. It's amazing how much concern the Democrats worry about sexual preference, even among pall bearers to the former great.
and then, there's John McCain, the one man wrecking crew. John has destroyed the Bill of Rights, destroyed Republican hopes for further conservative judges with his Gang of 14 cut ups and their peaches and cream. and his embrace of the Democrats on the border folderol has weakened many a stomach, which was already teetering on the knife edge of nausea. John will do almost as much for a “live shot” as that will-‘o-the-wisp, John “Live Shot” Kerry, who has also lent a steady hand to the destruction of america, but has not been asked to serve as a pallbearer due to his cartoonish appearance and his inability to keep his mouth closed for the few short moments necessary to pull even an abbreviated funeral service off.
and so, President Bush will be laid to rest with full military honors, the last before the remaining elements of the active armed forces are reduced to the point of penury by the mourners.
at the proper moment, the pallbearers, those most responsible for the destruction of the man, the Party, and america, will heave the weight of the casket up into the cool autumn air, and walk those few paces to that yawning hole in the ground, where they'll deposit their charge on the chrome and canvas rack.
Then they, like the hopes of Newt Gingrich, and those who signed the Declaration of Independence, will disappear.
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