By John Burtis
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Isn't it funny how the magnificent promises of eternally clean government broadcast by incoming Democratic administrations always seem to break apart on the hidden shoals of past human criminality.
The last guy to shoot his mouth off about how he was going to operate the cleanest most open, sacrosanct and transparent example of american government was Bill Clinton.
Well, it was either Bill or his internet inventing buddy, al Gore.
In any case, their pristine hopes were dashed in a whirlpool of opaque degeneracy, which roiled around the Oval Office, despoiled a sink, embarrassed the usually imperturbable Yasser arafat, who cooled his bloody heels in the Rose Garden while the President groveled with an intern and later perjured himself about the brief irriguous union.
all of this was merely icing on an already rich layer cake, chock full of raisins, Whitewater, state troopers, bimbos, a war room designed to smash the eruptions of plaintiffs seeking redress, the deaths of associates, the ceaseless yawping of freakish toadies, and acting skills to rival those of Olivier and Bob Hoskins, amid rivers of tears loosed on request.
Nancy Pelosi, who has so recently ascended the red carpeted steps to the gilded throne of House Speaker in what purports to be a left liberal house with a decided progressive bent at best, has also announced a similar grand, sweeping goal.
as Madam Speaker put it so well last week, she intends, “…to lead the most honest, the most open, and the most ethical Congress in history.” a tall task indeed, especially with the raw material she has to work with.
First she had to move Honest John Murtha ahead. No small move for such a large piece of heavy modeling clay.
Mr. Murtha, the abscam Kid, and a charter member of the most recent anti-war crowd, caught Nancy's attention because of his dedication to total surrender in Iraq and for his complete support for basing US troops in either Okinawa or attu, which ever would be deemed the farthest away once the maps could be consulted. While Carl Levin offered to provide them with a compass to measure the distance, Honest John demanded string and push pins.
But John Murtha is pretty irrepressible when it comes to dodging ethics, and the two just don't mix. He called the latest ethics bill, “…total crap,” but said he'd he's go along with it because the little lady in charge said he should as he removed his galoshes.
Of course the moderates were a bit taken aback by his repudiation of something a few of them actually held dear. and his total failure to grasp ethics at all, even by a tidy corner, insured his failure to become Majority Whip, despite the un-lady like heave from the Speaker elect.
There is also that problematic relationship with Murtha's brother, a defense lobbyist known to have been aided by Honest John's intercessions, but that only seems to pile on additional ethics problems on a man already hobbled by the weight of manifold lapses, who once offered his help to FBI men dressed as sheiks, who spoke with New Jersey accents, and wore penny loafers with their turbans.
and now Steny Hoyer, fresh from a quick “slavish” quip or two designed to hector Michael Steele of Maryland, has been voted to the post of Majority Whip, where he exhibits all the qualities needed for Nancy's honest, open and ethical Congress.
So, next up on House Speaker Pelosi's batting order is alcee Lamar Hastings, a defrocked federal judge, one of the short listed dirty dozen chucked out of the federal judiciary by the US Senate in the history of the Republic, for perjury and obstruction of justice, now pegged for a top slot in the new Democratic corporation.
as luck would have it, Mr. Hastings appears to be Ms. Pelosi's choice to head the House Select Committee on Intelligence, with its access to all of america's secrets, rather than Ms. Jane Harman, who has recently been ridiculed on leading Democratic blogs for not leaking secrets during her tenure, which would've damaged President Bush and the country at large. For this omission she had gained Ms. Pelosi's enmity.
What better guy to head Congressional Intelligence than a man impeached for perjury and obstruction of justice as part and parcel of the most honest, most open, and most ethical Congress in american history.
and she'll put this man forward, despite his utterly contemptible record and his total lack of ethics, out of fear of disturbing the Congressional Black Caucus, rather than once thinking about doing the right thing for the United States of america, pure anathema to Nancy.
But, as Ms. Pelosi has said over and over, she will have an ethical Congress despite her middling gaffes, the laughable shortfalls of her nominees, and the accompanying beefcake burlesque surrounding their appointments.
as the neophyte Jimmy Carter proudly advised us in his inaugural speech, he hoped, vainly in retrospect, long before the twin Billy Carter and Billy Beer fiascos, to say nothing of Jimmy's failed Iranian adventure and his once in a lifetime interest rates, “…that we had enabled our people to be proud of their own Government once again.”
Sadly, like the future Clintons, and Nancy Pelosi, the new Democrats are selling us that same old rusty bridge, accompanied by those identical worthless promises, to be administered again by truly tarnished lawmakers saddled with shabby reputations, often with criminal pasts, who'll occupy the highest seats of legislative power.
and having the Democrats back in power is like watching the return of the ravens, fighting over road kill, promising us a clean highway.
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