By John Burtis
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
It was a shock, alright, finally learning on every news channel imaginable Monday, that Hillary Clinton is pretty doggone sure that she'll be looking into the serious official possibility of examining in finer detail the myriad ramifications of openly discussing her unfolding plans for making a serious decision to run for the presidency of the United States pretty darned soon.
and this announcement is made whether or not the job will still require a vote and not the simple acclaim of the huddled masses to claim ownership of the office her husband had earlier sullied, wept in, and prayed over, in November of 2008.
In any case, it was certainly grand to finally have the world's premier politician and its single smartest woman finally, after months of dancing around that elephant in the spacious Chappaqua living room, or is it a formal room, make that decision.
Well anyway the pachyderm is resting on a luxuriant settee and couldn't be missed for much longer, and Hillary has decided to come right out with it, and gone on record about coming pretty close to an actual public announcement of her upcoming national intentions with assorted caveats.
She's been mulling over these particular plans, we've been told, ever since her celebrity husband said, “I do,” to her, the country, Monica, Jesse Jackson, Babs Streisand, Marc Rich's winsome grass widow, and to all and sundry, when Bill hasn't mixed them up with, “I do, too,” and, “I never!” and, “I do solemnly swear…”
and that, ladies and gentlemen, amounts to the kind of raw leadership available in today's new Democratic Party, except, of course, the courage to start investigations, to leak classified documents to progressive tools, and to concoct wild attributions about something or nothing at all, with an eye cast at President Bush – the all too lame duck adrift in Foggy Bottom, feet up.
I mean look at Barack Obama, standing today with one foot in the White House and with the other one in a fortune to be made. He can plagiarize everybody else's speeches, thoughts, and ideas, lift whole passages out of recent books and the inchoate ramblings of Ward Churchill, dress them all up and condense them all into one long luminiferous aether of a diatribe, and presto, he's the greatest single living embodiment of a current foreign policy genius, except for Hillary, anywhere in america. He's considered a monumental leader and only Joe Biden doesn't get the joke.
Or take Joe Biden. He is so lost that his jokes only make sense to him and the folks he routinely humiliates, yet he's hailed as one of the new Democratic leaders for our time because Joe has traveled the world and he's well read. and we're told that Classic Comics come really pretty close to the real treatises they're based on and that Joe read them to save time, and he picked up the gist, the doggone gist, and that's what really counts in today's discourse. But he's a leader in US Senate and that counts more than you or me.
and there's poor old John Kerry, the bridesmaid but never a bride, whose views on foreign policy and jokes are about the same as his understanding of everything else in america – he's both for it and against it depending on the time of day, the audience, who's running against him, where the camera is located, what his staff has told him to say, and whether he can remember every line of his opening killer about american servicemen. But for all of this, his leadership abilities are undeniable and he's ready to report for duty at the drop of his beloved cap.
But Hillary is head and shoulders above these mere mortals. She's got the dough, the attack machine, Harold Ickes, her “harmless” data mining project, a fawning press, Bill in her corner, no holds barred Jim Carville ululating for her, agents provateurs like the faithful George Stephanopoulos out there shilling, private investigators chasing down every show of contempt, Eleanor Clift writing hagiographical screeds with excessive panegyrics and obsequious blandishments enough to make Joe Stalin blush, Xerox copies of 900 FBI files that she has no memory of possessing, George Soros calling with the latest news, the ability to turn a grand into a million anytime she wants, and she can spend money like nobody's business, which it sure as hell isn't. and, better than anybody else Patrick Fitzgerald has ever cornered, she can lose a raft of subpoenaed files in a kitchen for years on end and then bump into them on a countertop one day while making hot cross buns as if they had instantly popped into view from another dimension.
Yep, Hillary Clinton has declared in no uncertain terms that she is pretty serious about mulling over the upcoming prospects of making a pretty firm decision about possibly running for the Presidency of the United States.
and with that announcement made, we can rest assured that if push came to shove sometime in the future, with Mrs. Clinton at the helm of a faltering ship of state, that america could expect the same in leadership, in courage, and bravery, in the face of adversity from this heroine, this foreign policy expert, and intellectual genius for all time.
She has certainly lifted a mighty weight from our shoulders with her uncanny grasp of the seriousness of her decision, her high flown rhetoric, coupled with her headlong leap into the presidential ring.
But I just can't see Hillary handling the upcoming atomic attack on america in any other way except for the timidity, the temerity, and with the lackluster response which she's shown us with her bold statements about seeking the presidency. It'll require more than a surreptitious wink and a hesitant nod.
I could be wrong, however.
and I certainly hope so if she somehow ekes out an electoral win and fulfills Bubba's destiny.
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