a recent Statistics Canada survey revealed what should not come as any great surprise — Canadians are a bunch of big, fat liars. all it took to make it official was a few thousand tax dollars.
after surveying 130,000 Canadians, the national obesity rate was found to be 15.5% during 2005. Obesity was determined by the body/mass index and the survey relied upon respondents telling the interviewer what their height and weight was. a smaller survey of 4,000 Canadians was conducted by having a Statistics Canada interviewer actually measure the height and weight of the respondents. Surprise, surprise; the rate of obesity in this survey jumped to 24.3%. Statistics Canada concluded that many men lied about their height while women tended to lie about their weight.
Having a nation of big fat liars is a serious problem that cries out for action. and action of course means government action (is there any other kind? Obviously not or we wouldn't all be sitting around getting fat). Ontario looks promising as there is really no right that the people of this province have that the government isn't tempted to trample.
Unfortunately, Ontario can't do anything about the fact that we lie. after all lying is the centerpiece of the McGuinty Liberal government, without which it would be doomed to inaction, which as Martha Stewart might say would be a good thing. What ever happened to Martha anyway? Dalton McGuinty has broken so many promises and told so many lies that the revelation that more coal plant closings will be delayed after Dalton promised faithfully to close them all by 2007 barely caused a ripple. Lying is not a problem in Ontario — it seems to be a way of life.
No, if we in the province are going to do anything it will have to be about obesity. Now being run by the politically correct left we simply cannot address any problem until we first determine the "root causes". We must first determine what the root causes of obesity are which thankfully are not radical Islam. We should be grateful for that because if radical Islam was the cause (as it very may well be the cause of planned terrorist attacks if the recent allegations prove to be true), we couldn't mention it anyway. Luckily for us, the root causes are not that difficult to determine. It boils down to the fact that we eat too much and don't exercise. By sitting in front of the television or the computer for hours on end Ontarians get about as much exercise as the OPP officers who stand around Caledonia watching natives terrify elderly people and attack television camera crews. and let's face it — all those fast food restaurants are there for a reason.
Unfortunately, we can't make people exercise - have rights ya know. Forcing people to move around has to be a breach of a Charter right or a breach of some or other international treaty. No, if we're really going to fight obesity, we have to do something about that fine Canadian tradition of pigging out.
This is where Dalton comes in. He's so proud of his "smoke-free Ontario"; with a twisted grin on his face, McGuinty took great delight in trampling on the rights of smokers and business owners to achieve the greater good. Okay Dalton, let's get going on making Ontario "fat-free".
The obese should be banned from all public places in Ontario (including of course the government front benches). Ontario needs to hire a bunch of fat police (police to catch the obese, not overweight police officers) to patrol the province's restaurants. Fine the owners for any obese person found on the premises. Let the fat people order their super sized meals from drive throughs (where most of them do anyway). They should be allowed to eat their meals outside, not in restaurants where the fatties might upset other diners.
But what will happen to businesses if this happens? No problem. Just like the smoking ban would see non-smokers flock to bars and eateries, more thin people will start going to restaurants when they realize they don't have to see the obese wolfing down Big Macs quicker than Dalton McGuinty can tell another lie. and if they don't — well, who cares?
Simply reduce the places where fat people can eat — starve the obese into thinness, it's the only way.
Come on Dalton, we know you can do it.
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