Always Avoid Angering Armadillos

According to humorist Will Rogers, good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. Combining this truth with the common sense admonishment that folks ought not mess with creatures that aren’t messing with them explains why, from what happened on the way to church one day, I will always avoid angering armadillos. Fossil finds indicate that Mother Nature tinkered with countless hard-shelled animals, from one-celled organisms to Brontosauruses. Apparently, she favored smaller creatures like Homo sapiens and relegated most armor-laden animals to the good-idea-at-the-time evolutionary junk pile — but not armadillos, which have few natural enemies. During The Great Depression, when the political promise of “a chicken in every pot” proved to be what all political promises are — lies, armadillos were called “Hoover hogs” by impoverished Americans who sometimes resorted to eating them in order to survive.