Liberals are freaking out today about a link going around that claims Ted Cruz is a "closet Pentecostal" and embeds a video that features his father, Pastor Rafael Cruz, talking about the gigantic liberal bugaboo of "dominionism."
The narrative of secular types who don't understand any of this is twofold: 1. Pentecostals, of whom Ted Cruz is secretly one, are wild-eyed lunatics who think they can speak in foreign languages they don't even understand. 2. Insane Jesus freaks are plotting to take control of government to transfer all wealth to Christians who will be named as "kings."