The Omnipresent 'S' Word

Recently I visited my Alma Mater to discuss earning another degree. Riding along in 'Loretta'--my Dodge pickup with more horsepower than any sissy Chevrolet or fearful Ford--I listened contentedly as she ingested dinosaur-derived fuel and belched its aftertaste melodiously through dual exhausts. When I arrived, the counselor condescended coldly, "We normally don't receive inquiries from a person seeking acceptance to graduate school when he or she has succeeded in advancing to your senior status," instead of saying, "from old geezers like you." I clarified her uncertainty about my gender by saying, "I'm a he."