Once the fight was over, however, the full reality of what happened hit me
In terms of PTSD, I have watched Trump closely since the Butler shooting. His demeanor brought back painful memories of my own emotions after combat. I recall during my first major firefight and aftermath. When incoming enemy bullets started snapping, my training over many years kicked in and I acted primarily on reflex. I heard fire, saw explosions, and saw men shot dead (thankfully, no Americans were killed in that action).
During that firefight, adrenaline was high. I surprised myself being able to think clearly and give direction and fight while we moved through a long, complex ambush. That men were being wounded and killed did not affect me during the fight. Once the fight was over, however, the full reality of what happened hit me.
When I saw Trump walking into the GOP convention days after the Butler shooting, I could see on his face the kind of reflective sobriety I remember feeling after my fight. According to Haberman, Trump has watched that video of the Butler shooting over and over again.
The soldiers in the Afghanistan firefight I described talked about what had happened over and over so that we could understand and accept it. In another fight, I was almost killed by an enemy mortar that landed only feet away from me. Miraculously, it didn’t kill me.