Barack Obama Is Not Without Virtue

--Satire-- Unquestionably, an Obama Administration would do far more damage to America's present and future than another Clinton in the White House.

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To begin with, Obama is more of a socialist and anti-American. Given the power to do so, President Obama would probably seize all IRA and 401(k) money held by Caucasians and use the money to fund reparations for African-Americans, regardless of income. His disdain for the U.S. military might cause Obama to move the United Nations from New York City to the Pentagon, leaving the Army, Air Force, Navy and Marines to fend for themselves. An Obama in the Oval Office might try to solve the housing crisis by forcing the government to purchase all homes in foreclosure and to quit claim deed said properties, free and clear, to needy African-Americans and Islamofacists. Still, in spite of all his zany shortcomings, Obama has a virtue that gives him an unfair advantage over Hillary Clinton: He is likable. Whereas Hillary Clinton is the most hated political figure in American politics, Barack Obama connects with people on a warm and personal level. Whereas Hillary is an arrogant and notorious liar and cheat, Obama is perceived as humble, down to earth, and honest. Whereas Hillary's campaign speeches are about as soothing as fingernails raked across a chalkboard, Obama is composed, smooth and tranquil. Obama has other virtues. His candidacy has the potential to end, once and for all, the political aspirations of Hillary Rodham Clinton. That would be tantamount to saving America from another great depression. It would be like single-handedly turning back six Katrina-size hurricanes as said storms conspired collectively for another shot at destroying the Big Easy. Mind you, I could not, and would not, vote for Barack Obama for president, or to be America's first black fuhrer for that matter. Still, there are tens of millions of American nincompoops with single digit IQs who could vote to install Obama in the White House, seven months hence. That eventuality, although calamitous in nearly every regard, could have another positive result: It could get Al Gore off the global warming gravy train! Indeed, Obama has announced that he would find a job for Gore, provided that a swivel chair of sufficient width to accommodate the butt of the former vice can be located and reinforced to prevent collapse. Baltimore Sun [url=http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/news/politics/blog/2008/04/a_gore_role_in_an_obama_admini.html]http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/news/politics/blog/2008/04/a_gore_role_in_an_obama_admini.html[/url] Putting Al Gore in some obscure cabinet position responsible for monitoring price-fixing in snow resorts on the island of Maui would take the steam out of the global warming hoax, and add to America's credibility throughout the world. Go, Obama!