-- Satire
In an effort to explain his refusal to protect the southern border of the United States from the torrent of illegal immigrants, drugs, and the spread of violence that has cost the lives of United States citizens, President Biden summoned “The Most Trusted Name in the News 2021,” Canada Free Press’ own Hugh Betcha, for an exclusive interview in the Oval Office. Hugh, Chief of the International Desk of the Stoos Views worldwide media conglomerate, a man who walks with kings and princes (but bowing to none), caught a quick flight from Wynstone, South Dakota--where the air is clean, the crime rate low, the people vote red, and the centre still holds--and flew into Foggy Bottom. Ushered into the President’s office after a short ride in the Presidential limousine, Hugh settled down for a frank discussion with the President on the troublesome issue of illegal immigration and Texas’ attempt to stanch the flow of illegals, drugs and violence that has plagued the state and the country.
“I do not want the world to think we are inhospitable racists"
The President seemed to be a bit foggy during the interview--which was atypical. Normally at ease with his former drinking buddy and the winner of MSNBC’s Most Trusted Name in the News Award, 2021-Hugh Betcha--the President was uncharacteristically defensive. His Vice President, Kamala “Cackles” Harris did not attend—having been sent on an important fact finding trip to study the mating habits of the Leopard Frog in Tanzania.
“I told that Governor ‘what’s his name’ that I would not protect the borders and neither should he,” Biden said, sternly. “I do not want the world to think we are inhospitable racists. I want the world to like us. It is more important to be liked than respected, after all. If anyone is not going to protect the borders, it is I. As President I have the exclusive right to do nothing to protect the county and I am doing a good job at it.”
“But aren’t the illegals causing a tremendous drain on the economy, medical resources and law enforcement down there?” Hugh asked.
“Please do not use that word,” the President replied curtly.
“What word?”
“Illegal. It is mean spirited.”
Biden's undocumented persons from places other than the United States and disagreeable people of another faith who want to hurt us
“What then?”
“I prefer undocumented,” the President said.
“But these undocumented aliens are wreaking havoc on the state and you have done nothing to protect it.”
“Please do not use such language in here.”
“What?” Hugh asked.
“Aliens. That sounds so harsh. We do not use such language here. They are persons from places other than the United States. Again, I have instructed all federal employees and appointees never to use such language. It may well offend someone.”
“Well the point being Mr. President, that if you do nothing to protect the borders, then we face a serious threat not only from the undocumented persons from places other than the United States but also Muslin terrorists. They can easily sneak across our southern border now.”
“Once again, please do not use such language.”
“You mean…”
“Yes, Muslim terrorists.”
“But, weren’t the guys who bombed New York Muslim terr---“
“--No, they are disagreeable people of another faith who want to hurt us. I will issue an Executive Order to this effect effective immediately.”
“Okay Mr. President, but the original point here is this: you do not want the Governor of Texas to protect his state from the flood of undocumented persons from places other than the United States and disagreeable people of another faith who want to hurt us, right?”
“Correct. Such action is preempted by federal law. The non-protection of the southern border is the exclusive province of the federal government.”
“But if you do not act--“
“We might, and we have the right to or not to--not the state.”
“But what if you don’t act?”
“Well, we might someday.”
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Biden's “Future Democratic voters”
“In the meantime, people are flooding our borders, drugs are streaming into the country, you are allowing thousands of illegal aliens to be randomly dumped across the country under cover of darkness and the resources of this country and the state of Texas are being drained.”
“Collateral damage,” replied the President.
“What?”
“Collateral damage--we must break some eggs in order to make an omelet. Immigration is what makes this country great. I am loathe to stop it.”
“Why?”
“Because you see these folks streaming across the borders illegally as a threat to the country. I see those folks differently.”
“How do you see them?”
“Future Democratic voters.”
“His newest book, The Wind and the Spirit (Stories of Faith and Inspiration)” was released in 2011 with all the author’s royalties go to support the Carmelite sisters.”
-- Satire
In an effort to explain his refusal to protect the southern border of the United States from the torrent of illegal immigrants, drugs, and the spread of violence that has cost the lives of United States citizens, President Biden summoned “The Most Trusted Name in the News 2021,” Canada Free Press’ own Hugh Betcha, for an exclusive interview in the Oval Office. Hugh, Chief of the International Desk of the Stoos Views worldwide media conglomerate, a man who walks with kings and princes (but bowing to none), caught a quick flight from Wynstone, South Dakota--where the air is clean, the crime rate low, the people vote red, and the centre still holds--and flew into Foggy Bottom. Ushered into the President’s office after a short ride in the Presidential limousine, Hugh settled down for a frank discussion with the President on the troublesome issue of illegal immigration and Texas’ attempt to stanch the flow of illegals, drugs and violence that has plagued the state and the country. 
