Satire
“Good to see you” Biden said as he stepped sprightly out of his NO MALARKEY bus in Sioux City, Iowa to meet Ace Reporter Hugh Betcha of the Mighty Canada Free Press for an exclusive interview prior to the Iowa caucuses. “Great to be here in Sioux City, Ohio,” he beamed.
“Ah, Sir it is Iowa—Sioux City, Iowa—not Ohio,” Hugh replied respectfully.
Biden's Exclusive Interview With Hugh Betcha of the Mighty Canada Free Press
Touts Son’s Experience with Petroleum Industry Picks “She Who Spends Much” as Running Mate
Satire
“Good to see you” Biden said as he stepped sprightly out of his NO MALARKEY bus in Sioux City, Iowa to meet Ace Reporter Hugh Betcha of the Mighty Canada Free Press for an exclusive interview prior to the Iowa caucuses. “Great to be here in Sioux City, Ohio,” he beamed.
“Ah, Sir it is Iowa—Sioux City, Iowa—not Ohio,” Hugh replied respectfully.
“You’re a damn liar, Man,” shouted the candidate abruptly as he pushed his right index finger into Hugh’s chest, “Ohio, Iowa—who gives a damn? They both end in “O”.
“Sir, about your son Hunter may I ask you---“
“Stop right there!” Biden shouted, “none of this malarkey about my son…and you are a fat liar for asking! I bet I can do more pushups than you.”
“Sir, I meant no disrespect,” Hugh replied apologetically, “just wanted to ask a few questions about his involvement with the board of Burisma if I could.”
“Why I oughta take you out behind this courthouse and whip you like I did Trump in high school.”
“But Sir you did not go to high school with Trump,” Hugh said politely.
“You weren’t there Buddy, so no more malarkey.”
“About Burisma—can you tell us what qualifications Hunter had which justified over a million dollar salary as a board member?”
“I am going to reiterate one more time. He is well qualified to sit on a board of a petroleum company. I taught him how to change the oil in his car since he was sixteen, he has been doing that ever since then.
He knows how to pump gas and has done so for years. He has a gas stove at home. I could go on….”
Sensing that further discussion on the subject was futile, Hugh decided to pursue another subject.
“How about a running mate?”
“I think Elisha Warren would be an excellent choice,” Biden replied.
“Ah you mean Elizabeth Warren?” Hugh said.
“There you go again with that malarkey” Biden replied.
“Why her?” Hugh asked.
“Well she is a full blooded Cherokee don’t you know,” Biden smiled. “Her Indian name is ‘She Who Spends Much.’ I happen to know this.”
“But why her?’ Hugh pressed.
“Because as I said the other day in Ohio or Iowa—one of those places—I am an old white guy. And a woman of color would be a welcome addition to the ticket.”
Copyright © 2020 William Kevin Stoos
Read next: History and Importance of a Free Press in America
Email Us | Reader Friendly | Comments
William Kevin Stoos——Bio and Archives
Copyright © 2020 William Kevin Stoos
William Kevin Stoos (aka Hugh Betcha) is a writer, book reviewer, and attorney, whose feature and cover articles have appeared in the Liguorian, Carmelite Digest, Catholic Digest, Catholic Medical Association Ethics Journal, Nature Conservancy Magazine, Liberty Magazine, Social Justice Review, Wall Street Journal Online and other secular and religious publications. He is a regular contributing author for The Bread of Life Magazine in Canada. His review of Shadow World, by COL. Robert Chandler, propelled that book to best seller status. His book, The Woodcarver (]And Other Stories of Faith and Inspiration) © 2009, William Kevin Stoos (Strategic Publishing Company)—a collection of feature and cover stories on matters of faith—was released in July of 2009. It can be purchased though many internet booksellers including Amazon, Tower, Barnes and Noble and others. Royalties from his writings go to support the Carmelites. He resides in Wynstone, South Dakota.
“His newest book, The Wind and the Spirit (Stories of Faith and Inspiration)” was released in 2011 with all the author’s royalties go to support the Carmelite sisters.”