Experienced grass roots communicators remain surprised at the lack of enterprise. Years ago, the ever-canny Dutch ran an advertising campaign over the banner: There’s more behind a bunch of Dutch flowers. It featured a Dutch girl holding an enormous bouquet. At least it was assumed she was Dutch as she wore a traditional bonnet and a pair of wooden clogs – and apparently not much else. Now, prior the season getting bursting into bloom, we offer a few modest proposals – with the organ of taste and speech firmly planted in jowl.
Calendars
The local drug store can offer one. So can our favourite cheese merchant. Now everybody is getting into the act. But the name of the game is artful photography: Ryanair cabin crew stripped off, as did the Cosmetic Surgery Girls along with 11 English farm girls from the Young Farmers’ Club. Then there is the Hot Mormon Muffins: A Taste of Motherhood calendar features 12 mothers in vintage pinup poses who claim membership in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Each month also has a muffin recipe. The problem with all of these is that they attract men, not known as prime garden centre patrons. But wait! Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals 2010 calendar featured nude male operatives from southern England. The News (Portsmouth) excitedly reported: “RSPCA inspectors have brought out the animal in them by baring all for a charity calendar.” And of course Down Under will never be left far behind. Aussie cricketers have stripped for 2010 calendar – and last year they raised $50,000 for placement of breast cancer nurses. So how about a calendar featuring gardening gurus such as Denis Flanagan, Tony DiGiovanni and Stephen Murdoch, names that instantly come to mind. If that won’t bring in the women, what will?
‘Comping’
The gambling industry encourages it’s high rolling customers by ‘comping’ them – offering complimentary gifts and services to persuade them to enter the sacred casino portals. Garden centres could increase their sales with similar schemes. Frequent customers can be encouraged to come on in by personally addressed mailing inviting to collect a ‘free gift’ or two. After all, what true, green-thumb-twitching gardener can visit a garden centre “just to see what they have” without coming away with the car’s back seat, front seat and trunk full?
Fortune Telling
Ask any newspaper publisher what is the most read part of their newspaper and they’ll tell you – The Horoscope. It wasn’t so many years ago that any country fair worthy of the name had its own resident fortune teller.
At branches of Ilan’s Coffee House in Tel Aviv, Israel they are boosting business by having the waitresses offer to tell patrons’ futures by examining the coffee grounds in the bottom of their cups. (A “gypsy” soothsayer was retained to teach the waitresses how to interpret residue.) Surely something similar is available locally? Herb tea, perhaps or blowing the seed heads off a dandelion stem. And is the holding of a buttercup to reflect off the skin under the chin a lost divination?
Political Party Plantings
Political pundits adore elections and so should garden centres. Here’s an opportunity to offer a palette of annual collections for federal political party supporters to plant in their front yards; blue for Conservatives, red for Liberals, orange for NDP and for Green party enthusiasts seeking to honour leader Elizabeth Mays, perhaps corn, botanically known as Zea mays. Extended down to provincial and municipal level it can only be described as blooming wonderful.
Gardening Fashion Shows
Gardening is indeed well and truly fashionable. Again attract the women who make most gardening purchases by bringing fashion to garden centres, parading down the walkway rather than catwalk. Customers will adore being led up the garden path.
Lawn Mower Races
It all started in 1973 as a group of English motor racing fans gazed morosely into the beer at the Cricketers Arms in Wisborough Green, near Horsham, West Sussex. Discussing the over-costly turn that their spot had been reduced to, they watched a groundsman mowing the green opposite the pub. The rest is history: thus was formed the British Lawn Mower Racing Association. Ride-on lawnmower racing became a sport. This side of the Atlantic, SOLTRA – Southern Ontario Lawn Tractor Racing Association, proclaims that it is “the fastest show on grass . . . grass gripping, dust digging, top level lawn mower racing excitement.” OELTRA, the Ontario Extreme Lawn Tractor Racing Association suggests it is “grass root racing at its finest,” and advises to “watch for the sod warriors at a fair near you.” Helping promote this magnificent sport would surely bring male customers flocking, although it is doubtful if David Suzuki would be among them.
Miss Garden Centre of the Year
Why should it be left English farm girls, Ryanair cabin crew or the Cosmetic Surgery Girls to display feminine pulchritude? Even visiting but a few Ontario garden centres will prove they are way out in front of the pack. Offering male customers a chance to vote each time they visit will offer an incentive to shop early and shop often.
