Contest: Write the ISIS recruitment video of the liberal imagination

There are two kinds of ISIS recruiting videos. There are the real ones, one of which Rob showed you yesterday, which emphasize the weakness and moral degradation of the West - portraying us as pathetic losers whose defeat at the hands of the followers of Allah is inevitable. These apparently work for ISIS because they convince would-be jihadists they would be joining a great and glorious force set on the destruction of the pitiful infidels. Then there are the ISIS recruiting videos of the liberal imagination - the ones they keep telling us about, although no one has ever seen one. In these videos, ISIS tells its recruits about horribly mean things Republicans have said about them, or about humiliating defeats Republicans have laid on them, all of which is designed to so inflame them that they sign up and join ISIS out of spite and indignation.

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Hillary claims ISIS is using videos of Donald Trump and his temporary Muslim travel ban idea as a recruiting tool. This appears to be completely false, but it's Hillary so what do you expect? The left has been playing this game for a long time, though. They used to claim that Al Qaeda used Guantanamo Bay as a recruiting tool, as if every jihadist's fondest hope must be to end up in a prison in Cuba. And of course there was always the ubiquitous claim that "for every terrorist we kill, we just create 30 more." So basically, according to the left, people join terrorist organizations because they get so upset by things Republicans do and say. Well, let's roll with that, shall we? Let's see which conservative can write the best ISIS recruiting video script, using only the type of language that liberals claim ISIS will use. Your script cannot go longer than 30 seconds (because I don't feel like reading any more than that), and it will be judged solely on the basis of how closely it hues to this liberal fantasy about how ISIS recruits. Your prize will be your glory in the defeat of the other video-writing infidels whose writing ended in fiery death or something.