There are some really smart people in the world. When I run across one of them, I make every effort to keep quiet, pay attention, and take notes. I save up questions for when I might find someone who knows the answers. Random wisdom is why I always try to have scrap paper and a pencil nearby.
One of the best things that ever happened to me was snagging a job at Nelson Hardware in Boston, Indiana. That store’s hinterland was southern Wayne County, northern Union County, and western Preble County, Ohio. It’s beautiful farm country with grain, hogs, and dairy farms everywhere one looks.
There was no job description. I helped customers find bolts, screws, door latches, and hog rings. I repaired screens, cut glass, and worked to solve problems resourceful farmers couldn’t solve. Since the store was an appliance dealer, I began to learn my way around Frigidaire refrigerators, washers, and dryers, as well as KitchenAid dishwashers.
Dishwasher’s job isn’t to wash the dishes. The owner is supposed to wash the dishes. The dishwasher’s job is to sanitize the dishes.”
Loren Grimme was still there. Tall and quiet, he bought the store with a partner in 1953, nearly thirty years before I arrived. He knew everything there was to know about kitchen and laundry appliances, and had memorized the parts diagrams and parts numbers over his decades of sales and service there. He was kind and funny with a razor-sharp wit. He was the finest storyteller I ever met, so there are a couple of jokes of his I still tell, although never as we as he could tell them. His favorite hat read Ask Me About My Grandchildren. I asked him. His breadth of knowledge was astonishing.
One day in the appliance department, I watched as he explained the four different KitchenAid models to a customer. Afterward, I asked him which model actually did the best job of washing the dishes. He turned to me and said, “Well, you know, the dishwasher’s job isn’t to wash the dishes. The owner is supposed to wash the dishes. The dishwasher’s job is to sanitize the dishes.” He said it slowly and let it sink in. “That’s why there is a heating element in the bottom of each one. The heating element gets the water really hot, hotter than the water heater in the utility room, and that extra-hot water does the sanitizing. The best thing in the world to prevent passing around colds and sickness is a dishwasher.” Even as those words hung in the air, I knew I had just been given a tremendous gift of understanding. It was a eureka moment for me.
I had been around dishwashers just enough to know that if the baked-on edges of a casserole or the dried egg wasn’t carefully scrubbed off in advance of starting the dishwasher, spraying water or special detergent wasn’t going to do the job, either. It seemed odd that they were called dishwashers until Grimme told me how they actually worked. Then it all made perfect sense.
After moving four years ago, it became necessary to buy a dishwasher. I knew what to look for, made my selection, brought it home, and installed it. There in the bottom was the pristine heating element, ready to go. For the first load I scrubbed the dishes clean with dish soap, put some dishwasher detergent in the dispenser, closed it, hit normal, then hit start. The darned thing ran for four hours. Puzzled, I ran the next batch on the short cycle. It ran for three and a half hours, which seemed like four hours.
The new technology, of course was that someone had changed the cycle timer
About that time I saw a dishwasher ad on TV in which a charming child asked her Mama why she was washing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. “If you’re washing the dishes, what’s the dishwasher’s job, Mama?” Mama paused just a couple of seconds, and I could hear Grimme’s voice stating the elegant wisdom he had given to me. But in the ad, Mama was confused and didn’t know the answer. The announcer broke in and told the audience that with the new dishwasher technology from Brand X, Mama didn’t have to wash the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher any more.
The new technology, of course was that someone had changed the cycle timer. Now the dishwasher blasted the dishes with water for four hours, then heated the water at the end. Not long after seeing the ad, I stayed a few days with friends who had that very brand of dishwasher. I would never pretend to know how someone wanted their dishwasher loaded, but I volunteered to empty it after it was done. They had seen the ad, too, I’d guess. The dishwasher had been loaded after supper, and it was still running when we went to bed. They hadn’t bothered to wash the dishes before putting them in there, and it showed.
The flatware was horrible. Gunk was stuck on the forks and on the backs of spoons. A Pyrex dish came out with a hard ring of whatever we had been served the night before all around the upper edge. Plates bore evidence of recent meals. I don’t know about other folks, but I don’t like to pull a spoon out of my bowl or my mouth and discover that someone other than me had put the rough bumpy place on there, especially when I can tell what it was.
I was in for a bigger surprise at the end of emptying it. In the bottom of dishwashers these days there’s a fine screen, made of rigid plastic. Used properly, it will accumulate lime from the water, but used according to directions, it will become sealed with all the leftover food the owner was told to just leave on the dishes. If neglected, the dishwasher will fill with water that will not drain because the filter is clogged with all that dreck. If the filter is taken out, the food will clog the drain line and require a plumber’s attention.
Support Canada Free Press
Loren Grimme was one of the finest people I ever met
The bottom line is that even the newfangled dishwashers using the newfangled hyper-enzyme detergents in copious quantities will not take off the residue from real macaroni and cheese or a nice broiled salmon. In fact, it will not take off the ring left when someone who put half and half in their coffee let the last inch sit on the counter the rest of the day before dumping it and putting the cup in the dishwasher to run for four hours.
And the label on the new unit says Energysaver. Yeah, right. That must refer to the energy saved by not washing the baked-on stuff like you should have. The irony, of course, is that you still have to scrub it off after the dishes have been blasted for four hours, only it’s been baked on a second time. Good luck with that.
Loren Grimme was one of the finest people I ever met. He gave away his wisdom and bestowed kindness on anyone who was willing to accept it. I sat in well pits with him and went on service calls. We laughed often. He taught a young man many things while I was there. It’s a shame the dishwasher makers didn’t ask him a question now and then. He would have told them they still needed to wash the dishes first.
May he rest in peace always.
I’m about to head over to the old timey hardware store. Where’s my pencil and scratch paper?
Dr. Bruce Smith (Inkwell, Hearth and Plow) is a retired professor of history and a lifelong observer of politics and world events. He holds degrees from Indiana University and the University of Notre Dame. In addition to writing, he works as a caretaker and handyman. His non-fiction book The War Comes to Plum Street, about daily life in the 1930s and during World War II, may be ordered from Indiana University Press.
