Senator Barbara Boxer (D-Left Coast) wants you to know that because "the work is too important," she won't be retiring. She just won't be seeking re-election, won't be in Washington, won't be a Senator anymore, and really won't have much of an impact on any national political debate. In other words, she's retiring. However, as we learned in a painfully awkward and obviously scripted "interview" with her grandson Zach, you'd better not use the word "retire" around her.
She'll still be doing something. We're just not sure what. The closest she comes to an actual reason for her not-retirement is: "I wanna come home."
If you think that sounds like a threat, we can only assume you're one of the few sane people living in California, and you were hoping she'd be virtually anywhere else.
Here's her announcement video. I have five bucks that says 90% of you won't be able to make it through the whole thing. However, be warned: if you check out early you'll miss the big finish. ...Barbara Boxer wrote you a horrible poem and she recites it at the end.
If you're thinking this presents an opportunity for the GOP to pick up a seat, you're probably living in a fantasy land. Given the makeup of Boxer's district, the odds are that she'll be replaced by yet another progressive west-coast loon. However, if the GOP plays it smart and runs even a mildly competent candidate, they could force the Dems to spend money on a race that would otherwise have been a risk-free cake walk.
