“Double Barrel” Joe Biden on the “Biden Balcony Maneuver” for Women

Stoos Views' Ace Reporter Hugh Betcha's Exclusive Interview

, --March 9, 2013

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-Satire Hugh Betcha exclusive interview “…walk out on the balcony here, walk out and put that double-barrel shotgun and fire two blasts outside the house.” -- Vice President Joe Biden, 2013 In an exclusive interview with his old friend and hunting buddy, Vice President Joe “Double Barrel” Biden sat down with Hugh Betcha, Ace Reporter for Stoos Views Media Conglomerate for a talk on how women can protect themselves and their children in the politically correct way. Dressed in desert BDUs with a blaze orange hunting cap to accentuate his love of guns and respect for the Second Amendment, Joe smiled as he answered questions from his friend. Hugh, winner of the “2013 Piers Morgan Award for Most Trusted Name in Journalism,” and a member of the NRA, started with the question on everyone’s mind, raised by Biden’s recent comments in an interview about how a woman can ward off criminals the politically correct way.
“So what’s up with the balcony thing?” Hugh started off with a soft lob hoping for some clarification of the Administration stance on a woman’s right to protect her home. “Well,” Biden responded, emphatically, “as I said, no woman needs a pistol or an assault rifle to protect her home. That is both dangerous and silly. First of all, that old double barrel 12 gauge is one scary mother and you sure don’t need more than two shots to protect yourself or your kids. Forget about AR-15s or MAC-10s or 10 round clip pistols—not necessary at all.” “And the Administration’s answer to concerns for a single woman’s safety in the home?”
“The old Biden Balcony Maneuver.” “Which is?” “Like I tell all the women in my family, if an intruder breaks into your home at night, just grab the old 12 gauge….” “Then what?” “…step out onto the balcony, fire two shots in the air and the bad guys will simply run away—that’s it,” replied the Vice President smugly. “Yes, but what if you do not have a balcony?” “Then,” replied the Vice President calmly, “you just shoot both barrels into the ceiling of your bedroom—just as effective, I guarantee it.” “Sort of hard on the house, huh?” asked Hugh. “Yeah, but boy will they run away after you shoot those rounds into the ceiling—scares the hell out of them every time. The sound of a double barrel 12 gauge being shot into the air is the scariest thing a criminal can hear.” “And what if they are in your bedroom and you have just shot off the two rounds into your ceiling fan and the bad guys keep coming?” Hugh pressed the VP. “Won’t happen, but if it does, all the woman needs to do is reload and shoot again into the ceiling—that will really scare them off.” “And what if, in the two seconds it takes the bad guys to enter your bedroom, you can’t finish reloading?” “Pray they go away.” Copyright © 2013 William Kevin Stoos

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William Kevin Stoos——

Copyright © 2020 William Kevin Stoos
William Kevin Stoos (aka Hugh Betcha) is a writer, book reviewer, and attorney, whose feature and cover articles have appeared in the Liguorian, Carmelite Digest, Catholic Digest, Catholic Medical Association Ethics Journal, Nature Conservancy Magazine, Liberty Magazine, Social Justice Review, Wall Street Journal Online and other secular and religious publications.  He is a regular contributing author for The Bread of Life Magazine in Canada. His review of Shadow World, by COL. Robert Chandler, propelled that book to best seller status. His book, The Woodcarver (]And Other Stories of Faith and Inspiration) © 2009, William Kevin Stoos (Strategic Publishing Company)—a collection of feature and cover stories on matters of faith—was released in July of 2009. It can be purchased though many internet booksellers including Amazon, Tower, Barnes and Noble and others. Royalties from his writings go to support the Carmelites. He resides in Wynstone, South Dakota.


“His newest book, The Wind and the Spirit (Stories of Faith and Inspiration)” was released in 2011 with all the author’s royalties go to support the Carmelite sisters.”