Elvis tops Michael Jackson in Stunz Meter

There is this thing called the Stunz Meter. It registers the shock and dismay of human response to major events that rock our world.

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For example, on the Stunz Meter the events of 9/11 registered an incredible 96 out of a possible 100 STUNZ. Other notable events in history scored very high such as the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor (95 STUNZ), the Challenger explosion (89 STUNZ) and the death of Princess Diana (91 STUNZ). Incredibly, within the same week Diana was killed, Mother Theresa also passed away (66 STUNZ). The reason the Stunz Meter registered so low for the little nun was that she was so overshadowed by the attention being paid to Princess Di. Now we come to the Gloved One, arguably one of the greatest entertainers over the last 25 years or so with fans worldwide. Because of the Internet and cell phones and, of course the rapid response of today’s news media, MJ’s demise scored a resounding 93 on the Stunz Meter. Because of Jackson’s influence on the world stage and the awareness of fans from so many cultures, 9/11 registered higher on the American Stunz Meter but mixed in other parts of the world. But then there was Elvis. The King died long before the invention of the Stunz Meter. His abrupt end came without the advantage of worldwide news coverage via satellite, before cell phones, and before the instantaneous impact of the Internet. But Elvis, when grading on a curve, out stunned the Michael Jackson news with a score of 94.5. To put that in perspective, the assassination of JFK scored a 97.2 on the Stunz Meter. Similar to the Richter scale, each point closer to 100 on the gauge is actually hundreds of times more stunning. One thing the Stunz Meter doesn’t register though is the lasting impact of emotion and memory on certain historical stunners. For instance, after the attack on America on 9/11, churches were filled to overflowing, patriotism was at an all time high, and if your name was Mohammed and you lived in the States you started calling yourself Pedro! But alas, within a few months the shock and dismay faded and America went back to its self-centeredness. Not everyone mind you, but for a majority for Americans the patriotism waned, the churches again had choice seats that went unfilled, and America faded to ambivalence. But Elvis-- well Elvis has been gone for over 30 years and you can still find thousands of Elvis impersonators making a living off the King. Michael Jackson was never emblazoned on velvet! And while MJ may outsell Elvis in death, he still lags behind by a few points on the reliable Stunz Meter.