Fence jumper got past Secret Service agent gabbing on his cell phone

This couldn't be any more of a fiasco if the Secret Service was trying to let the guy breach the White House. We knew when it first happened that it had been a huge fail, but before the results of the investigation came out yesterday, we had no idea:

After the intruder jumped the fence, the message that the White House had been breached did not reach officers stationed at the White House. Some other officers on duty at the Northwest Gate on Pennsylvania Avenue did not see the intruder because a construction project blocked their view. The report said that two officers did learn of the breach, and ran toward the intruder with guns drawn. However, they did not think the intruder was armed and determined lethal force wasn't appropriate. Gonzales was later accused of having a knife. The officers then followed the intruder into bushes outside the White House, but lost sight of him. According to the report, this "surprised" the officers who "believed the bushes too thick to be passable." The report said in addition, a canine officer was stationed in a van on the White House driveway. But when the intruder hopped the fence, he was chatting on his personal cell phone on speaker, and had taken his earpiece out of his ear. The canine officer was also not alerted to the incident prior to spotting the intruder. When the officer spotted the intruder running, he commanded his dog to apprehend him. However the report said the dog may have not seen the intruder. The canine officer also assumed that the intruder would be stopped by the bushes.

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"The Canine Officer mistakenly thought that the bushes would serve as a natural barrier and was surprised that Gonzales was able to enter and pass through them," the report said. Once the intruder got inside, he was able to overpower a female officer, who grabbed her flashlight instead of her baton when attempting to subdue him. He was eventually tackled and arrested. To the extend you've thought about it, have you always figured that charging toward the White House unauthorized was about as effective a method of suicide as you could come up with? Apparently not. You could be leaving Secret Service agents in your dust and carrying a knife, but they won't shoot because they figure the bushes will stop you. Plus, that guy in the van may or may not have his earpiece in because it's really hard to hear that person on your personal cell phone when you've got that thing in there. And the officer inside the door? She has a tendency to reach for her flashlight when she's trying to grab for her baton, so you've got a real shot there. Yeah. My illusions are completely shattered. I always figured there were sharpshooters on the roof who would take you out if you so much as made it onto the lawn. Nah. That guy will never make it past the bushes, so we don't need to . . . whoops. Where'd he go? Serious question: Has it always been like this, and we just had the illusion that they were sharp, well-trained and impenetrable? Or have they taken to incompetence, drunkenness and cavorting with Colombian hookers only recently? And if it's the latter, what brought on the change? The easy answer, and the one you want to give, is Obama. But think harder.