By Wes Porter ——Bio and Archives--October 1, 2019
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“We are now in Autumn – season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,” suggested P. G. Wodehouse in The Code of the Woosters (1938)
Gardeners – amateur and professional – have to be optimists. Could that account for their oft-prolonged lives? As far back as records go, gardeners have been shown to maintain long and fruitful lives. Could that have something to do with their ingrained optimism? Optimists live as much as 15% longer than pessimists, according to a new study spanning thousands of people and three decades, reported in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences. The most optimistic women were 1.5 times more likely to reach 85 years old than the least optimistic women, whereas the most optimistic men were 1.7 times more likely to make it to that age explained David Shultz writing in Science.
Diversion No. 1
‘Freezing, Frigid and Frosty’: The Farmer’s Almanac forecasts a harsh winter. ‘Polar Coaster’ is set to hit Canada this winter. The Farmer’s Almanac predicts winter will bring vast temperature swings, heavy snowfalls for most of Canada, warned CTV News However, CBC News has a different take. Yes, winter is coming. But that’s about all the Farmers’ Almanac can predict accurately, observes CBC News. Worried about the ‘polar coaster’ forecast by the Farmers’ Almanac? Don’t fret: Forecasting months ahead reduces accuracy and we still have fall to go reassures the national news service.
Colorado native Vince Rozmiarek of Indian Hills posts punny signs for those approaching his community, as recorded by Bored Panda; a few applicable here:
“Before the crowbar was invented crows had to drink at home.”
“If money doesn’t grow on trees why do banks have branches?”
“Insect puns really bug me.”
“I ate a frozen apple; hard core.”
“I have a chicken proof lawn. Its impeccable.”
“The tomato turned red when it saw the salad dressing.”
“The best pine tree is a matter of a pinyon.”
Diversion No. 2
The ‘weather station’ at Le Meridien Hotel, Kochi, India comprises a coconut suspended from a chain with the explanation: Coconut Moving: Windy; Coconut Still: Calm; Coconut Wet: Rainy; Coconut Dry: Sunny; Coconut White: Snow; Coconut Invisible: Fog; Coconut Gone: Hurricane.
“Need a good-sized rake for my leaves, but son is in town,” observed the immortal Charlie Farquharson. Fallen leaves, composted, make some of the best soil additives and mulches. But as gardens become smaller but trees larger, finding a place for a large compost heap becomes problematic. A solution is to pack them tight into black plastic bags. Punch a few holes in each and stack in a back corner. By next season they will have broken down, ready for digging into flower and vegetable beds. Or to use as an immediate mulch, heap in the centre of the lawn and shred with the rotary lawnmower. Note though, simply covering perennial beds with unshredded leaves will form a wet, air-choking mass to the overwintering plants. Or as one wit had it: “I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in.”
Diversion No. 3
A Brit GP practice will prescribe flower pots of plants instead of pills for patients suffering from depression, anxiety and loneliness, according to The Daily Mail. Cornbrook Medical Practiced, in the inner-city area of Hulme, is believed to be the first GP practice in the country sending patients home to grow their own vegetables or pots of herbs.
Long before metric arrived to muddy the water, a cord of wood was deemed to measure four feet high, the same width, by eight feet long. But if you are searching to brighten the fireplace with blazing logs, forget about a genuine, full cord of wood. What you pay for and what you get is that commercial abomination: a face cord. This is but a quarter to a half of the full, original measure, being but one to two feet deep. And if it is mostly made up of logs in the round as exposed to split hardwood, it will yield even less to burn in the fireplace this coming winter.
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Diversion No. 4
Urban living leads to high cholesterol . . . in crows. Animals that do well in urban areas tend to be the ones that learn to make sue of resources such as the food humans throw away. But is our food actually good for them? A new study published in The Condor: Ornithological Applications suggest that a diet of human foods such as discarded cheeseburgers might be giving American crows living in urban areas higher blood cholesterol levels than their rural cousins.
Just in time for Halloween, European Mountain Ash or Rowan, Sorbus aucuparia, is believed by some to have powerful anti-witchcraft properties. Twigs were formed into simple crosses and fastened over barn and house doors. Also, to assure the dead remained in their graves the trees were planted in churchyards. On All Hallows’ Eve, for safety, carry a branch of S. aucuparia. If confronted by a witch, touch her with it and she’ll be carried off to the Devil to suffer the tortures of the damned.
Mark these dates in your October journal
Though why anyone thinks these up is beyond us. Still, a day without humour . . .
Month –
Apple Jack Month
National Vegetarian Month
National Popcorn Popping Month
National Apple Month
Week –
4th Week Cleaner Air Week (buy another houseplant)
1 World Vegetarian Day
2 National Kale Day
3 Virus Appreciation Day
12 Old Farmer’s Day
14 Thanksgiving
20 Brandied Fruit Day
21 Canada Federal Election
21 Babbling Day
21 Trafalgar Day 1805: Nelson’s Column still widely acknowledged by journalists
22 National Nut Day
23 National Mole Day
27 Mother-in-Law Day
27 National Tell a Story Day (UK)
31 Carve a Pumpkin Day
31 Halloween
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Wes Porter is a horticultural consultant and writer based in Toronto. Wes has over 40 years of experience in both temperate and tropical horticulture from three continents.