Is it possible to be against bullying but also against "anti-bullying programs"? It seems contradictory, but I have some sympathy for the frustration of Porterville, California Mayor Cameron Hamilton, who seems to recognize that the latest faddish cause among educators, community leaders and celebrities is not necessarily the same thing as actually helping kids who are bullied.
Hamilton was asked the other day in a City Council meeting to join in supporting an anti-bullying program at the local schools. The usual response of politicians to this sort of thing is to made high-minded statements about the importance of this vital effort, blah blah blah. Hamilton's response was, er, not that:
"I mean, I am against bullying, but I am getting damn tired of it being used as a mantra for everything that ills the world when all most people have to do is a grow a pair and stick up for them damn selves," he said during the council meeting.
Councilwoman Virginia Gurrola, who introduced the program, quickly snapped back at Hamilton.
"It is hard to stand up and maybe grow a pair when you are maybe a 10-year-old little girl," she said.
Melissa McMurrey, a member of the nonprofit group Gay Porterville, told KERO-TV Channel 23 in Bakersfield that Hamilton's comments demonstrated a history of opposition to the gay community. While the program is intended to support all bullying victims, she said Hamilton's comments were subtly directed toward the gay community.
Now there's a lot revealed in that short passage. First of all, if you've ever wondered why bullying has suddenly become such a trendy cause, you'll note that it coincides with the rise of aggressive gay activism. You'll also notice that those who question new laws and other measures designed to battle bullying are often attacked most pointedly by gay activists.
That's because this is not really about the little kid who gets pushed around by the big kid. That type of bullying has been around for as long as there have been kids, and you didn't have every educator, politician and civic leader sporting t-shirts and attending galas to show their opposition to it. That happened when it became about the bullying of gay kids - something that is absolutely wrong and needs to be stopped, but is also no more worthy of attention than the bullying endured by any other kid.
Now about Hamilton's comment, he is right to a point - but only to a point. It's easy to tell a small kid who is being pushed around by a big kid that the way to deal with the bully is to stand up to him. And if you believe as I do that bullies only pick on kids who are too afraid to offer any resistance, then you have to recognize a smaller kid who fights back - even though he may "lose" the fight - probably still helps himself a lot in fending off future bullying.
But having said that, it's entirely unfair to put that on the bullying victim, as if it's his fault it's happening. Yes, there is something he can do about it, and he (or she) should be taught to do it. But a bullying victim deserves help too. Help from other kids. Help from teachers. Help from anyone who can provide it. I happen to believe the punishment for bullies should be much more severe than what they usually receive. Idiotic school administrators who are suspending kids for bringing butter knives to school should be looking at expulsion for big kids who push little kids around. I want every kid to get an education, but a big kid who pulls that crap on smaller kids can work at Taco Bell for the rest of his life as far as I'm concerned.
The problem is that none of this is really addressed by rallies, t-shirts and "anti-bullying programs." Bullies don't do their thing because no one "educated them" about how wrong it is. They do their thing because they are mean, nasty jerks and no one is correcting that behavior.
Mayor Hamilton is too dismissive about the role third-parties need to play in standing up to bullies, but he is right that these trendy anti-bullying efforts are a waste of time. The only way to stop bullies is to make them pay such a severe price for what they do, it's not worth it to do it anymore. When the bullying victim is able to exact that price, that's great. But when the victim is just too small and too scared to do that, someone needs to help. Not with a school assembly, but with a swift kick in the # and an expulsion notice for the sadistic jerks who act this way.
