--Satire--
Just as Hillary Clinton and her campaign staff were putting the final touches on her non-answers, half- answers, and outright lies for the Thursday debate in Las Vegas, the breaking news came roaring at them: Governor Eliot Spitzer had just 'pulled a Hillary' by flip flopping on the issue of licenses for illegal aliens.
Never at a loss to deal with any contingency, Hillary's team immediately shifted into "spin" cycle and issued the following press release:
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE FROM THE OFFICE OF SENATOR CLINTON:
"As I indicated in response to Tim Russert's misleading question during the last debate, I understand why Governor Spitzer took the actions that he did.
"I did not say that I agree, or disagree, with the governor. It's just that I understand why he acted.
"Above all else, I believe that the entire issue is the fault of the Bush administration for failing to implement comprehensive immigration reform.
"Which is not to say that I believe comprehensive reform is, or is not, necessarily a good thing. Illegal immigration is a very complex issue that needs to be studied extensively, rather than answered in a 30-second sound bite.
"As the greatest president in U.S. history, to date that is, once famously said, 'It depends of what the definition of is is.'
"Which is not to say that I agree, or disagree, with Slick Willie, which is what Chelsea and I call the former president, among other things.
"Is Is is also a very complex question that needs study rather than a hasty answer.
"Which is not to say that I agree, or disagree, with hasty answers.
"The bottom line is that until schizophrenic voters make up damn their minds on illegal aliens in a way that can be measured in a low risk campaign poll, my position will remain fluid and flexible in order to effectively identify and respond to the desires of the American people.
"Which is not to say that I actually give a tinker's damn about what the unwashed masses think or desire!"
Executed in Good Faith and Rare Candor,
Senator Hillary Clinton
John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal. “Clean and sober” since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. For years, John lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, the very liberal sanctuary city which protects, rather than prosecutes, certain favored criminals. John escaped the Bay Area in May and now lives in Pine Grove California where conservative values are still in vogue.
