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Was there in spirit…..Says the President

“I Stood Shoulder to TV with the Paris Marchers”



--Satire Scorched by a firestorm of universal criticism for his abject failure to stand shoulder to shoulder with scores of world leaders who met in Paris to protest the murder of 17 reporters and others by several radical Islamists, President Obama did what he normally does in such situations: he called his friend, confidante and media advisor, Hugh Betcha Ace Reporter for Stoos Views Media Conglomerate and runner for the Mighty Canada Free Press. Hugh, winner of the 2014 “Most Admired Christian Reporter” award by CAIR and “Caucasian Reporter We Would Most Like to Hang With, 2014” awarded by the Most Reverend Al Sharpton Foundation for the Promotion of Racial Harmony, a reporter respected by both sides of the aisle in Congress, was there, as usual to ask the incisive questions.
“Well, how do you explain your absence Mr. President, when you purport to be the Leader of the Free World and of a country that has Declared War on Terror? How do you justify your failure to pay homage to the dead in Paris when France was so supportive of your country after 911 and the first to offer his condolences and support?” “ Well,” replied the President, indignant,” first of all I was there; second there is no War on Terror, it ended that years ago as you might recall. There are no radical Islamist terrorists but only a few misguided individuals—just a handful—who happen to come from Muslim countries and shot some folks which is of course unfortunate. But they are few and far between. Further and thirdly, I stopped at the French Embassy and wrote a nice letter in their book of condolences--which was heart-warming and sincere and I am sure they were touched by my remarks.” Incredulous, the reporter pressed on: “Yes but there are those who suggest your sympathies lie with the radical Muslims since you are a Muslim sympathizer yourself and…” “…First of all,” the President interrupted, “I am not a Muslim sympathizer and they are mistaken. Sure I was born and raised a Muslim, educated in Muslim schools, bowed to a Muslim leader in Saudi Arabia, told an audience that ‘America is not a Christian nation;’ covered up the Christian symbol "IHS" before speaking at Georgetown; released several Muslim fighters from Guantanamo; invited a man to the White House who dedicated the White House to Allah; stated that ‘the future does not belong to those who insult the Prophet,’ and jailed a man who made a film that insulted the Prophet, but no, I am not a Muslim sympathizer.”

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I wept and hugged the TV and marched with them in spirit during commercial breaks while watching the football game in the Oval Office “How can you possibly say you were there in Paris during the march? Clearly you were not. “ “Oh yes, I was there in spirit and I know they could feel it. I wept and hugged the TV and marched with them in spirit during commercial breaks while watching the football game in the Oval Office. It was touching and we had the White House photographer document it so there is no doubt how much I sympathized with them. I was there—oh yes—I was there, shoulder to TV as they marched….” the President insisted, his brows furrowed as he wiped a tear from his eyes. “So with your poll numbers sagging and a vast majority of Americans now stating that you have not made us safer, how do you plan to protect us from radical Islamic terrorists?” “I’m sorry, do you mean the “misguided few from Arab lands who carry guns and infrequently hurt people?” “Uh--” “--Well, to quote Winston Churchill: I plan to fight them from my couch, to fight them on the golf course, to fight them on the beaches of Hawaii, and to fight them at every Hollywood fund- raising dinner. They will know, yes thy will know just how upset I am about this. They will cower at my eloquence. And all will be well.” © 2015 William Kevin Stoos for Canada Free Press


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William Kevin Stoos -- Bio and Archives

Copyright © 2020 William Kevin Stoos
William Kevin Stoos (aka Hugh Betcha) is a writer, book reviewer, and attorney, whose feature and cover articles have appeared in the Liguorian, Carmelite Digest, Catholic Digest, Catholic Medical Association Ethics Journal, Nature Conservancy Magazine, Liberty Magazine, Social Justice Review, Wall Street Journal Online and other secular and religious publications.  He is a regular contributing author for The Bread of Life Magazine in Canada. His review of Shadow World, by COL. Robert Chandler, propelled that book to best seller status. His book, The Woodcarver (]And Other Stories of Faith and Inspiration) © 2009, William Kevin Stoos (Strategic Publishing Company)—a collection of feature and cover stories on matters of faith—was released in July of 2009. It can be purchased though many internet booksellers including Amazon, Tower, Barnes and Noble and others. Royalties from his writings go to support the Carmelites. He resides in Wynstone, South Dakota.


“His newest book, The Wind and the Spirit (Stories of Faith and Inspiration)” was released in 2011 with all the author’s royalties go to support the Carmelite sisters.”


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