Come with me on a Journey. A journey fraught with peril. (Okay, I’m addicted to melodrama. Sue me.)
We are going to a place where the laws of common sense, physics, and most of all, economics, are suspended.
Many might be satisfied to call this place “the left side of the aisle” but I call it: (Fan fare, please)
“Opposite Land”
As we travel through Opposite Land, navigating the twisted trails of skewed logic and convoluted reasoning, we shall telepathically eavesdrop on the thoughts of the democrats we find there.
Courage, please. I’m a trained professional, and I’ll make sure you make it back to the land of logic with your sanity intact.
Random thoughts drifting through Opposite Land.
I know that every time the government has ever tried to manage a huge entitlement program, we’ve run it into the ground. We’ve proven that over and over again, with Social Security, Medicaid, The Post Office, Amtrak, Medicare, Welfare, Aid to Dependent Mothers, and every other program we have ever touched.
But with health care, it will different. I just know it. . We can succeed at this, even though we have a one hundred percent track record of failure on easier projects than this one.
The crazy economics of Opposite Land demands it
I know that it would be un-American to have the government compete with the private sector. Americans would be really angry if the government sold books, toys, boats, clothes, outdoor grills, bicycles, furniture, or any other product, since that would defeat the process of free enterprise.
But, a public option in health care reform is different. America will like it once they see how much smarter we are than they are. I’m sure of it.
After all, this is Opposite Land, isn’t it? In Opposite Land, we’re smart, and they’re dumb. I like it here.
If the government imposed price controls and regulations on consumer goods that didn’t take into account the cost of producing those goods, Americans would be upset.
But, if we impose price controls and regulations on insurance companies that have no basis in actuarial reality, it will be okay.
After all, aren’t insurance premiums just random numbers that insurances companies pull out of their butts? Insurance companies will be fine, and will continue to be profitable, even though we are forcing them to sell policies for less money than they will paying out in claims.
One of the nice things about Opposite Land is that things really don’t need to make sense. They just have to sound compassionate.
Auto insurance companies keep prices down, and quality of service high, because all companies that sell auto insurance can compete against each other across state lines. Using mass mailings, cavemen, a gecko with a New Zealand accent, taking potholes, and craziest of all, Dennis Haysbert, they scratch and claw for market share.
Some auto companies try to get market share by boasting of lower prices. Some tout their financial stability, or how long they’ve been in business. Others brag of a level of service so high that customers won’t mind paying a higher price. Some cast their lines out for higher risk drivers. These won’t be the cheapest companies, but it’s another choice, and for some people, the only choice if they want to drive.
End result: auto insurance is affordable, and provides plenty of choices to consumers.
But that obviously wouldn’t work with heath insurance companies. I just know it.
Remember, in Opposite Land, the laws of economics are suspended.
I know that everywhere else in the world, when the government takes control of companies like car manufacturers and health insurance companies, it’s called Socialism, but here in Opposite Land, we call in something else. That “something else” changes from time to time, depending on how the political winds are blowing, but whatever we call it, we don’t call it Socialism. Americans wouldn’t like us if we called it Socialism, so we have to call it something else in order to get reelected for term after term after term after term.
And maybe Socialism isn’t the best way to describe what the democrats are trying to do to America.
But an onion by any other name will still make you cry.
That’s the way I see it.
Neill Arnhart.
