Is Something Bugging You?

Julius ‘Groucho’ Marx died on 19 August 1977, aged 87. When the media asked for an explanation of his death, grandson Andy Marx replied, “Too many birthdays.” Horticultural connection: Grouch once inquired of a tree surgeon if he had ever fallen out of a patient.

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Is something bugging you? It might be of some consolation to learn that the ancient Romans suffered too, some two thousand or so years ago. But they had ways, as Anthony Huxley noted. Columella recommended shaking vegetables early, shortly after dawn “for, if the caterpillars thus fall to the ground when they are still torpid from the night’s cold, they no longer creep into the upper parts of the plants.” Soaking seeds in the juice of horehound was another nifty notion of Columella, who suggested the same liquid by poured over growing plants to protect them from attack by bugs. Must have worked too – he never tells us of a plant coughing. The Greek Democritus advocated wormwood, Artemisia, as a drench to confound pests. Interplanting with heliotrope could discourage ants, wrote Sabinus Tiro. Not all Romans were so practical – or observant. Pliny – who was inclined to believe anything – thought that either the gods or stars above were responsible for diseases. And while modern-day researchers desperately seek to find strains of grain resistant to the virulent wheat rust spores, as early as 700 B.C. the Romans sacrificed a red puppy dog to ward off ruinous fungus.

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Diversion No. 1

A council in Wales has scrapped a £50,000-a-year grass-cutting bill – after discovering it had been trimming 568 lawns it didn’t own. A spot check in Montgomeryshire, Mid Wales, discovered it had been maintaining lawns it hadn’t owned for almost a decade, says The Daily Telegraph

Beer is a natural accompaniment to a Canadian summer. There is nothing like popping a can after a hot morning of gardening. The practice has a long history. “The pyramids might not have been built if there hadn’t been enough beer,” archaeologist Patrick McGovern explained to the Smithsonian magazine’s Abigail Tucker a couple of years ago. “Each worker got a daily ration of four or five litres. It was a source of nutrition, refreshment and reward for all the hard work. It was beer for pay. You would have had a rebellion on your hands if they’d run out,” he said. Others had noted before McGovern that one of the vital attributes of a good housewife in Egypt of the pharaohs was the ability to brew a copious supply of beer nowadays, alas, relegated to industrial processes.

Diversion No. 2

Contrary to popular belief, crabgrass dos not thrive in lawns, gardens and farm fields by simply crowding out other plants. A new study in American Chemical Society Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry has found that the much-despised weed actually produces it own herbicides that kill nearby plants.

In centuries past blood poisoning was known as the gardener’s disease. Professional and amateur alike all to often became infected through inevitable cuts and scratches. Frequently the results led to their demise. Indeed the first use of the then newly discovered penicillin was for a rose-tending English policeman who had become infected through just such an accident. With the rise of antibiotics, it is tempting to become blasé. But it is well to remember that the Staphylococcus aureum bacterium still lurks in the undergrowth with insidious intent. Late last month, after a four-month fight for his life in hospital, a Tauranga, New Zealand man was finally able to return to his family and friends, according to the Bay of Plenty Times. A rose thorn scratch left the formerly fit and healthy school caretaker with a severe case of blood poisoning, causing major organ failure. With fall fast approaching and bringing with it as ever the promise of rose pruning operations it might be well to consider that the gardener’s disease is still out there, waiting to trap the unwary.

Diversion No. 3

After decades of dutifully maintaining some of the world’s trimmest, most sprawling lawns, Canada has reached peak grass as Canadians increasingly give up on them, suggests the National Post whose snazzy quarters on Don Mills Road in Toronto are surrounded by . . . lawns?

Gardens are meant to be a place of relaxation, a reward for culture expended on them. Unfortunately at this time of year one is likely to be joined at your al fresco refreshment by yellow-and-black striped uninvited guests. Yellow jacket wasps have flourished ever since arriving here from Europe almost a century ago. As many have discovered, they can and do sting. Worse yet, some people are allergic and may go into rapid anaphylactic shock. Failure to receive rapid emergency aid can result in death. Worse still, one season the sting may just hurt. The next year an allergic reaction may occur. Even doctors and paramedics are known to carry an EpiPen – a dose of adrenaline – in addition to a medical alert bracelet. Commercial traps are available in stores. Many a gardener though suffers from an additional allergy: parting with ready cash when a homemade solution is available. Save an old jam jar but don’t wash it out – half fill with water with a drop of two of dishwashing detergent added. Fashion a cone of wax paper. Snip off the bottom and position the now bottomless cone in the mouth of the jam jar. Locate away from the patio, deck or other favoured spot for relaxation and the wasps will buzz off – permanently.

Diversion No. 4

“Weather prophets should be chucked in the deep end.” Boris Johnson, Lord Mayor of London, England

Unfortunately W.S. Fields once perpetuated a particularly libelous tale about that beautiful native Solidago. “I was hurrying to a florist friend for a bunch of goldenrod to send my mother-in-law (the poor dear was suffering with a stubborn case of hay-fever)” he claimed in Fields for President (1939). Now everybody repeat: goldenrod does not cause hayfever. Indeed, in Britain and on the Continent it is highly values in the perennial garden.

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