With the 2012 elections only a year away, I've begun to ask myself, "whatever will we do when Joe Biden is gone from our daily lives?" "How will we get through the day without a new installment of "Joe's World?" Joe has provided us with a daily dose of laughter in his own version of reality t.v; Joe's reality that is. Let's take a nostalgic look back at some of Joe's more memorable moments, proving once again intelligence is not a prerequisite for holding office.
On the stump this week to push Obama's Job's Bill, our silver tongued Joe told his adoring union audience that what he hears from his friends who oppose the bill is the jobs are temporary; which they in fact are. He went on to say, "Well, let me tell you, it's not temporary when that 911 call comes in and a woman's being raped, if a cop shows up in time to prevent the rape". Now, not being as well informed as Joe, nor being acquainted with any would be rapists, I haven't been able to ascertain just how many of them not only announce their intention to the would be victim, but actually make sure she has a phone to call 911.
Joe went on with his saga by saying "I wish these guys who thought it was temporary, I wish they had some notion of what it was like to be on the other side of a gun or a 200-pound man standing over you, telling you to submit". Hmm, a 200-pound, armed, would be rapist will what, hand his victim a phone to call 911?
From Joe we have learned of the glories of electric cars and solar power.
In a rousing speech two years ago our learned second in command heralded the $529 million "taxpayer" loan guarantee to the Fisker electric car company this way, "Fisker is a bright new path to thousands of American manufacturing jobs." Two years later the headline at ABC News reads "Car Company Gets U.S. Loan, Builds Cars in Finland."
While extolling the virtues of Solar power at the announcement of a $535 million loan guarantee to Solyndra, Joe showed off his profound intellect with this quote from a Scottish author, "Hope is like the sun, which as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us." Our Joe added this gem, "Well, that's exactly what we are doing here today. We are journeying, in a sense, closer and closer to the sun, to a more solar powered America." Unfortunately, Joe's journey closer to the sun left taxpayers burned to the tune of $535 million when the company filed for bankruptcy.
In June of last year, Joe began touting "Recovery Summer" with these inspiring words "the Recovery Act is working." and "this summer will be the most active period of job creation since the stimulus bill was passed." "The pace on the ball (say what?) continues to increase, not decrease, as the act rolls on in this final summer." Psst Joe, unemployment is still over nine percent.
In March of 2010, Joe decided to inform the Irish Prime Minister of his mother's passing with these famous words, "His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so.God rest her soul. And, although, she's-wait-your mom's still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul."
In September, 2008, while acknowledging the wheelchair bound Missouri State Senator Chuck Graham, good old Joe decided he could perform miracles and implored, "Chuck, stand up, let the people see you."
Out on the campaign trail in 2008, our soon to be Vice President uttered the unforgettable "Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word J O B S, jobs."
In an interview with Katie Couric, Joe impressed Katie by stating "When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, "Look, here's what happened." Apparently poor Joe didn't know Roosevelt wasn't President in 1929, nor that there were only a few experimental t.v. sets. And Katie excoriated Sarah Palin for not having a list of her reading material handy?
In his first campaign appearance with our future President, Joe introduced hm this way, "A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States - Barack America."
There are many more Joe-isms out there, but I hope you've enjoyed this brief walk down memory lane with our beloved Joe.
I ask again, "Whatever will we do without him?"
