John Kerry: Comeback Kid Joachim von Ribbentrop

So, John Kerry is on his high horse in high dudgeon trying to dissuade the latest iteration of Old Joe Stalin, one Vladimir Putin, ex-KGB hetman and a former Stasi overseer, to stop his formal occupation of the Crimea, whose citizens have already thrown in with Vlad with one of those famous 99.86% "for" plebiscites that redounded to the Führer's favor in Austria back in, oh, 1938.

But Mr. Kerry, a St. Paul's boy and a Yalie, is not to be outfoxed so quickly as that. No sirree. He is a certifiable Vietnam war hero with four Purple Hearts to his credit, a Massachusetts license plate with Purple Heart 4 on it, and he used to open, as a serving Naval officer before he picked up the Jimmy Carter million dollar pardon which enabled him to go into politics and leave the gigolo life behind, for everybody's favorite, including Michelle Obama's, the traitor, Jane Fonda. Nope, there were never two better nattering nabobs on the stump before all those phony Winter Soldiers in faded OD green, drooling SDS members, bomb building Weathermen, and report writing FBI informers, than those two ne'erdowells. Sadly, today, Jane feels that trying to shoot down American planes in North Vietnam while seated on a ZSU-37 anti-aircraft gun was her biggest "mistake", next to her calling American POW's "bums," while "Honest" John Kerry, who perjured himself before the Senate with all that Genghis Khan hogwash included in his long winded vituperation about "severed arms and legs and heads", which he used to besmirch my comrades at arms who were still fighting and dying in Vietnam so he could enjoy the freedom to spout his own special Ivy League brand of fallacious nonsense. Today, it's the phony Winter Soldier playing dodge 'em with a guy who apparently rides a bear around with his shirt off. Our guy rides an English bike with snowy white Jack Purcell sneaks and white socks and Izod shirts while their guy hunts bears in Karelia with nothing but a knife and a dog for companionship. Our guy gets a fire hydrant moved from the front of his manse in Louisburg Square on Beacon Hill so he can park his Range Rover there while their guy lives in the Kremlin and parks wherever the hell he wants. Our guy likes caviar and toast tips while their guy squeezes the eggs out of the sturgeon right into his maw. Roughing it, I'm betting on Putin.

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There was a time when Joachim von Ribbentrop, the Nazi foreign minister, actually sort of pulled the wool over on one of Vlad's predessors, Old Joe Stalin and his foreign minister, Vyacheslav Molotov. Yup, Joachim, the former top champagne salesman for Henckel-Trocken, was able to get Stalin to sign the Nazi-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact in 1939, which freed Germany to attack Poland and the major democracies of the West without any fear of a two front war. Later, when Hitler decided to attack the Soviet Union, so sure of Hitler's pacific intentions was Stalin that the night before the invasion began, June 22, 1941, Russia was still shipping grain, munitions and raw materials to Germany. Ribbentrop had worked a miracle for Hitler, but the invasion closed the once bright partnership with the Kremlin for the summer and for some years to come. In fact, the invasion would cost some 35 million Soviet lives. Now, concerning the Crimea, which Putin has pocketed and about which Kerry has told him that he means nothing personal by his whining and kvetching, it is doubtful that John Kerry will have an impact there or with the Ukraine as a whole similar to the one he had when he lied in front of the Senate in 1971. But John Kerry has learned one thing from Ribbentrop's foreign policy, Vladimir Putin's outlook on his neighboring countries, and that old Russian proverb: "Always kick a man when he's down because he can't kick back." What was the first thing our Secretary of State, John Forbes Kerry, fictive Winter Soldier, Boston's own "Live Shot", did when he realized that he had absolutely no traction whatsoever in any of his fatuous squirming and meandering free flow of unconnected verbs, nouns, and past participles, he lashed out at… Israel of course. As The Secretary put it, "It's a mistake for Israel to demand a Jewish state."