Liberal USA Today sportswriter demands that Patriots . . . er, you can probably guess

It might be a stretch to call Nancy Armour a sportswriter. Nancy Armour is a liberal political columnist who uses sports as her foil. That seems perfectly fine with her employers at USA Today, and it's going to have to be, because if her latest column is any indication she doesn't know much about sports. At least not about pro football. This was as predictable as the day is long: A team has a vacancy to fill at quarterback and liberal sportswriters demand that the team signs anthem-kneeling, police-slandering hero Colin Kaepernick. A liberal sportswriter rolls out of bed writing that column. So when the Patriots traded longtime backup Jimmy Garoppalo to the 49ers on Monday, you know this would start quickly.

But Armour, who doesn't appear to know much about how football teams operate, makes some, er, interesting arguments in favor of this arrangement:

Sure, some might grumble. Maybe even boo Kaepernick in his first game in New England. But the reaction will be muted and short-lived because Patriots fans believe, more than anything, that Belichick knows best. They also know Belichick would never do anything just for show. When the Patriots signed Tim Tebow in 2013, it was because Belichick wanted to see if the quarterback had the NFL-caliber talent to match his popularity. Tebow didn’t, and Belichick cut him without regard to popular opinion or whether he might alienate fans. Belichick is going to do what’s right for the Patriots, regardless of who’s involved. Right now, that would be signing Kaepernick. With no other active quarterbacks on their roster after Tom Brady, the Patriots have to sign somebody. Brady remains the best quarterback in the game, and there’s been no indication whatsoever that his skills are fading. But he is 40, and that’s uncharted territory for a starting quarterback.

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I'm probably going to be accused of being mean to the girl here, but if you're going to work as a sportswriter and be this ignorant, someone's going to have to call you out. When Kaepernick had his good seasons in San Francisco, which were in 2012 and 2013, the 49ers ran a run-read offense that played to Kaepernick's strengths. In the three seasons since then, Kaepernick's performance declined precipitously as opposing defenses learned to adjust to his tendencies, and Kaepernick made little effort to make his own counteradjustments. The Patriots' offense is nothing like the run-read, so it doesn't play to Kaepernick's strengths even if you assume he could recapture the effectiveness we last saw four years ago. After acquiring Garoppalo, the 49ers released quarterback Brian Hoyer, who was previously a backup with the Patriots and knows their system. Word is Hoyer is on his way to New England, and it seems likely the Patriots will sign him to become Brady's new backup. That makes sense. Hoyer is not a great quarterback by any means, but he he would be able to get up to speed quickly on the Patriots' playbook and he's very familiar with Belichick and Brady, and how they operate. Also, Hoyer has already been active this season and he's in game condition. Kaepernick says he's been working out, but that's not the same thing as playing in games that count against live competition as Hoyer's been doing. Besides all that, Armour's whole premise here makes no sense. She says Belichick would never do anything just for show, yet she's basically urging him to do just that. If Kaepernick needs a job so the NFL will stop being accused of blackballing him, then signing him is just for show. The truth, though, is that having Kaepernick on a roster would be a bigger problem for the NFL than keeping him away and listening to people complain about it. And because Bill Belichick would only do what's in the best interests of the Patriots, he's not going to sign Colin Kaepernick, now matter how badly liberal columnists want him to.