Looking for Way Out of ObamaCare? Join Al-Qaeda!

- Satire- Among the more outrageous provisions of ObamaCare is the exemption provided for certain religious groups such as Muslims.

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You heard that right. Democrats, those scalawags who object to nativity scenes and go bonkers when the Ten Commandments are depicted anywhere outside of a church, decided that the mythical separation of church and state as set forth in the U.S. Constitution does not apply to health care reform. Thus, Muslims and the Amish are exempt. That means that members of those religious orders do not face the prospects of $5,000 fines and imprisonment for not purchasing ObamaCare coverage. No IRS thugs will harass Muslims or the Amish to buy something they do not want. No death panels will be in place to overrule Allah’s will when it comes to old, ailing Muslims. For the rest of America, especially Jews and Christians, it's buy ObamaCare or the IRS will intercept any tax refunds you might be owed. Although that is really a moot point, because with the Marxists now running the country, there will be NO tax refunds, for anyone. Once Obama and Geithner have your money, they will do whatever it takes to keep every nickel of it, while working 24/7 to find other ways to gouge you with even higher fees, taxes, levies, blah, blah, and blah. It’s called “Progress” Pilgrims, although no one can explain why. Cynics and skeptics, those who see conspiracy in everything, are already speculating that this vulgar loophole is Obama’s way of recruiting new members for the Muslim faith. Indeed, the $5,000 gift from Uncle can be realized by proving that one is a Muslim. And since Al-Quaeda is synonymous with Muslim, the easiest way to prove that you deserve to opt-out of ObamaCare is to join an Al-Quaeda sleeper cell in a neighborhood mosque close to you. It’s really quite simple: Just go to the nearest mosque and tell the Religion of Peace cleric in charge that you have decided to give up chess and want instead to kill Jews for recreation. Then simply take and pass the throat-cutting test and receive your Throat-Cutting and Jihad Killer Certificate of Merit as proof of your devotion to the principles of Islam. So when IRS comes calling because you have ignored ObamaCare, simply flash your Throat-Cutting and Jihad Killer Certificate of Merit and all will be forgiven. On the spot. Just another way in which Barack Obama is bringing America together!