March Madness

While England is famed for its eccentrics the briefest of glances south of the border reveals that citizens of the United States are hardly underachievers when it comes to the weird and wonderful. Perhaps designating March as Cabin Fever Month has something to do with their penchant for declaiming unusual events. Then again, perhaps not. After all, few Canadians would cavil at calling March Maple Sugar Month, given that we produce about 90 per cent of the stuff. Nor would we find fault with florists assigning daffodils and jonquils to the next 31 days. But the mind boggles at a National Frozen Food Month or a National Peanut Month, never mind a National Floor Month or – wait for it – National Umbrella Month. But our American cousins have enjoyed each and every one of those doubtless noble causes before designating individual days of March to other activities.

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Peach Blossom Day, for example, shares 3rd March with Mulled Wine Day. The 8th March is National Peanut Cluster Day that just happens to share the same with Be Nasty Day. Perhaps up here we should celebrate the 6th as that dedicated to botanist Pehr Kalm born in Sweden on that day in 1716 Sweden, an early botanist in Canada under Linnaeus. He died in Finland on 16th November 1779.But no, we might be pipped at the post by the U.S. horticulturist and botanist Liberty Hyde Bailey, born 15th March 1858. Bailey died on 18 September 1934 after founding the world-famous Cornell University in upstate New York.Alas, Americans are more likely to be celebrating the 11th as Johnny Appleseed Day, 14th as National Potato Chips Day – ‘crisps’ if you are reading this outside North America – followed 24 hours later by the worthy National Pears Helene Day, and a burp later on 16th March by National Artichoke Hearts Day. True, one might question a day to the glory of potato chips, obesity now being a pandemic. But why March when, according to acclaimed culinary history, the invented one Saratoga August day by a dyspeptic chef following a customer who repeatedly returned his fried potatoes back complaining that they were thick and soggy. George Crum of Moon’s Lake House, Saratoga missed out thought – he failed to patent his accidental invention. Incidentally, the 16th March is also St. Urho’s Day (Lihamojakka), according to the Sauna Association of America. Rather unsurprisingly, this is followed by Green Beer Day although those whose hobby is horticulture will celebrate 17th March as that of St. Gertrude of Nivelles, abbess (died 659) invoked for good gardens, good quarters while travelling – and against mice and rats. No true lover of Fragaria x anassa is going to have anything to do with California Strawberry Day on 21st March unless it is to toss the alleged fruit at politicians, bureaucrats and similar tetrapods. Better to wait a couple of days and them tip the garden hat to John Bartram, early American botanist and seedsman of Philadelphia, born on 23 March 1699 and living for another 78 fruitful years. According to a recent World Health Organization study – and who for a moment would doubt the authenticity of anything connected with the United Nations? – 26 per cent of Americans have mental health problems. But the laugh might be on the WHO: Our neighbours also designated March as International Mirth Month. And if you find fault with that well, it is also National Kite Month so you can go fly .