Obama administration to pad enrollment numbers with people who haven't bought insurance

Let's say you're browsing Amazon. You've set up a username and password, and you're looking at ...oh, I don't know, a set of steak knives. You throw a hundred dollar set of Wustofs in your shopping cart, but before you checkout you think "I don't need knives this expensive. Forget it." You close your browser without purchasing anything and you go on with your day.

Well, according to the Obama administration, congratulations are in order. You just bought a very nice set of steak knives. At least, that's the way it's going to work when they release their Obamacare enrollment numbers. In an effort to make their dismal Obamacare signup numbers look at least a little less apocalyptic, the Obama administration has altered the definition of what it means to "enroll." According to the Washington Post, you no longer need to have purchased anything in order to qualify as an Obamacare enrollee.

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Health insurance plans only count subscribers as enrolled in a health plan once they’ve submitted a payment. That is when the carrier sends out a member card and begins paying doctor bills. When the Obama administration releases health law enrollment figures later this week, though, it will use a more expansive definition. It will count people who have purchased a plan as well as those who have a plan sitting in their online shopping cart but have not yet paid. “In the data that will be released this week, ‘enrollment’ will measure people who have filled out an application and selected a qualified health plan in the marketplace,” said an administration official, who requested anonymity to frankly describe the methodology.

Just imagine if the private sector could use the inherently warped logic of this "expanded definition." Should Microsoft fail to sell enough Christmas Xboxes to meet projections, they could simply tell shareholders "Yeah, we fell short, but look at how many people thought about buying one! We're way ahead!" Ford could run around touting the number of people who walked onto the lot, test drove a Lincoln Navigator, and decided not buy. "No, they didn't actually purchase a $60,000 car, but they sure did think about it!" In the real world, stock prices don't soar because someone thinks they might buy something. Money has to change hands before you can call it a sale. In Obama-land, that's apparently not the case. This administration doesn't care if you actually bought anything; they're just desperate to create a quick pathway to bogus, inflated, numbers. They desperately need to generate some positive news - no matter how phony – that their media allies can repeat. So, remember, when the Obama administration releases its enrollment data, it will be flush with people who might, temporarily, have considered buying insurance. We'll have to wait and see what that number looks like. For now, I'm headed back to my mansion in Hawaii and my vintage Ferrari, both of which I thought about buying until I realized I couldn't afford them. I'll be travelling aboard my oft-considered private jet.