Obamalympics 2016: President Kicks off Presidential Campaign in Copenhagen

- Satire Ignoring less important matters like our troops fighting and dying in Afghanistan, the Iranian nuclear threat, and other such matters, the Vacationer in Chief, Barack Obama, has announced plans to travel to Copenhagen to persuade the International Olympic Committee to choose Chicago as the site of the 2016 Summer Games. Traveling with him on the President’s 53rd vacation overseas since assuming the presidency, will be Stoos Views’ Chief White House correspondent and most trusted name in journalism--Hugh Betcha. Summoned to the White House for a private meeting with the President, Hugh interviewed Obama in the Oval Office about their upcoming trip.

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“Is it unusual for a sitting President to meet with the Olympic Committee to sell a site for the Olympics, Mr. President?” Betcha--famous for the hard hitting yet fair and balanced approach to presidential interviews that has made him the most trusted name in news--asked the President. “Well, certainly it is a first. But, with these dire economic times, we can sure use a boost to the economy. And if anyone can sell Chicago, it is I,” he exclaimed. “Who better than I to sell this as an Olympic site? I am not only President of the United States, but the most beloved leader in the world. I could sell ice to Eskimos--just like I sold the country on my candidacy. There is no question I can sell Chicago as the next site for the Olympics.” “Aren’t there more important issues facing the country right now?” Betcha inquired. “Well, there certainly are other issues, but, as President, I must prioritize these things. Afghanistan can wait awhile--it will still be there when I get back. Yeah, my generals asked for more troops, and suggested we will lose the war without them, but I need to take my time and think about that one. Getting away from it all, will help clear my mind. And that little S.O.B. in Iran firing off those missiles…well, they don’t have a long enough range to hit the United States as yet, so I am not worried about him just now. I plan to issue a very stern statement just as soon as I get back. I have not had a foreign trip for about two weeks now and I need a break.” Asked who is going to accompany him on the trip, Obama replied: “Well, my wife and kids of course--they are my goodwill ambassadors if you will. And some assorted movie stars, former Olympic athletes, and a couple of consultants.” “Consultants? Who?” “Oh, Senator Burris and others.” “Like who?” the reporter pressed him. “Well, Blagojevich for one. He is out of work right now.” “Why them?” Betcha asked, incredulous. “Well, they will be “coordinating” with some lower level Olympic bureaucrats--sort of liaisons if you know what I mean,” said the President as he rubbed his index finger and thumb together. “And they will be handing out some advertising and promotional items to the Olympic functionaries with whom we will be meeting,” Obama said, as he opened a box next to his desk and pulled out some promotional items, including red, white and blue tee shirts and bumper stickers labeled “OBAMALYMPICS 2016,” “SUMMER GAMES, 2016--CHICAGO--HOME OF BARACK OBAMA.” “ACORN will handle the marketing of Olympic Souvenirs and Obamamemorabilia. Bill Ayers will be attending as my Special Consultant on Security Against Terrorism.” Asked by the reporter whether the trip had any political implications, the President smiled wryly: “Of course not. Although I do admit that the Committee will announce during my presidency and in advance of the 2012 election, this trip has nothing to do with that. I am going strictly to promote the United States. That I am going with my family at taxpayer expense in order to bring the Olympics to Chicago, will generate worldwide publicity, get my face in front of the world wide press once again, and look like a hero if I pull this off, is purely coincidental. Besides, I cannot run again in 2016 anyway can I? Unless, of course, I were to stack the Court with a couple more justices and they were to declare the term limits imposed by the Twenty Second Amendment unconstitutional and I could run again--you know, something weird like that. But that would be the farthest thing from my mind.”