The pure at heart may blench at the thought, but flowers are plants’ sexual organs. This raises interesting observations as to the significance of floral offerings any time, but particularly on Valentine’s Day.
And why not? Men looking to ask women on a date might want to pick up a bouquet to help influence her decision, observed the
Canadian Florist. Research from France, published in the journal Social Influence, found that females were considerably more likely to accept a request for a date if they had just been sitting in a room with flowers. Blooms may in fact stimulate memories of occasions like Valentine’s Day and other romantic gestures, concludes the trade periodical.
Why all the fuss palaver roses? Not only are they exorbitantly expensive Valentine’s Day gift but likely will last a day or two – a week with luck. Not exactly a way to stimulate memories. While in poetry and prose, roses are swooned over botanically they have nothing on orchids, the largest family of plants. If sex symbols you are searching for look no further and consign the wretched rose to its rightful place.
Better yet, not only do orchids provide that extra special cachet of supreme sophistication but they remarkably long-lasting whether as a cut flower of potted plant. In China, the orchid is a symbol of virtue, moral excellence and refinement of the superior man, one of the horticultural ‘Four Gentlemen.’ Movie stars such as Dolores del Rio, have been described as ‘orchidaceous.’ Back in the days of silent movies, Corinne Griffith exploited an atmosphere of the aristocratic flora. Such is the passion for collecting orchids that it may be described as an infliction of ‘orchiditis.’ (‘Orchitis’ was unfortunately usurped by the medical profession to describe the inflammation of the testicle.)
If there is any way that an animal might be persuaded to pollinate a flower, then an orchid undoubtedly knows how to go about it. As long ago as 176 million years, girl dinos could have tucked an orchid flower behind their ear – except they had no external ears. Ever since, the 25,000 or so members of the
Orchidaceae have been finding ingenious ways to move pollen to pistil.
About 10,000 of the orchid species that are insect pollinated offer no nectar in return, fooling their pollen disseminators with spurious scents. Another 400 mimic female insects and promise their pollinators sex, explained Heidi Ledford in the journal
Nature. No less than Carl Sagan noted that a South African orchid smells the same as well as looks like a particular female beetle. The males always hatch first and are very short sighted so, until the females hatch, enjoy several weeks of orgiastic ecstasy.
Dieticians may have proclaimed dark chocolate and red wine the heart-healthy foods of love. And in 19th-century Cuba, chocolate was regarded as an aphrodisiac while this Valentine’s Day, Americans are expected to spend $700-million on
Theobroma cacao products. But although orchids may not be forever, they will outlast many other gifts while perhaps leaving an appreciated afterthought.
Alas, across the broad Atlantic, a study in Britain found three-quarters of women are suspicious when their man shows up out-of-the-blue clutching a big bouquet, according to a survey commissioned by a national firm of bakers. The advice from that Isles of Gardeners is not to bother bringing the wife or girlfriend flower as she’ll only think you’re cheating. To which we reply: Phooey!
Ah well, south o’ the border February has been declared National Potato Lovers Month by – surprise, surprise – the National Potato Promotion Board. Notwithstanding some suspicions, they might have something here: The 17th-century herbalist William Coles declared potatoes, along with candied orchid tubers, as lust-provoking plants.
