The first commandment should be obvious: Though shalt not covet, much less steal, thy neighbour's tomatoes, cucumbers or peppers. But people do.” Robert Finn, The New York Times.
Unfortunately, some covet much more than our garden’s produce. The contents of tool sheds, garages even the very house may be targeted by those in the underbelly of society.
It is said that every rose has its thorns so how about turning those same roses and other similarly armed plants to providing protection? Poison ivy is illegal to cultivate and if you know how stinging nettles will spread . . . enough said. But there is a positive plethora of prospective protective plants awaiting installation along fences, under windows, around entranceways.
In Britian, the London Metropolitan Police recently published a list of 30 plants that they claimed can help homeowners protect their gardens from thieves, including a giant rhubarb (Gunnera manicata) – which has ‘abrasive foliage’ – and ‘spiny’ gooseberry bushes. Unfortunately a few of their recommendations would stand up to our notorious Canadian climate, others would be hard to source and, anyway, the list fudged a little on the total number – it must be hard to count over 10 when you still have your boots on.
So here’s a suggested, but by no means inclusive, list for Canadian gardeners living in the principal horticulturally blessed areas of the nation;
Barberry, Berberis spp. (check with local garden centres; some forms are banned)
Black Locust, Robinia pseudo-acacia; deliciously scented blooms in late spring
Scottish Rose, Rosa spinosissima; excellent hedging specimen
Sea Buckthorn, Hippophae rhomnoides; excellent – and edible – display of berries
Sea Holly, Eryngium spp. unusual perennial with attractive foliage
Spanish Bayonet, Yucca glauca, may look southwest U.S. but is hardy onto our Prairies
Wild Plum, Prunus americana; native to milder areas
Perhaps a suitably worded sign might also find a place in the landscape. According to The New York Times, Claude Bastide, an aromatic herb grower of that city, erected the following sign along side his garden plot and has never lost a plant since: “Dear Plant Thief: If I catch you stealing my plants, I will boil you alive in a cauldron filled with poison ivy and stinging nettles until your flesh falls off your bones!”
Wes Porter is a horticultural consultant and writer based in Toronto. Wes has over 40 years of experience in both temperate and tropical horticulture from three continents.
