There’s an issue on the horizon which will definitely trigger an election this summer
That issue is Star Trek.
To see why this is so, you must first understand that Prime Minister Stephen Harper just happens to be a hardcore Star Trek ideologue.
As someone who once worked closely with the man, I can tell you he is absolutely committed to the original 1960s Star Trek series.
But now a new Star Trek movie is currently playing in theatres and its “rebooting” the franchise; the movie still features the familiar characters of Kirk, Spock and McCoy, but this time they are played by new, younger actors.
In other words, no more William Shatner playing Kirk.
Clearly, given Harper’s support for strict Trek orthodoxy, this new development will trigger serious political repercussions.
First off, the Prime Minister’s Office will no doubt issue strongly worded prime directives to Tory MPs ordering them to boycott the new Trek movie.
Equally predictable is that such a stern measure will result in a backlash among the Tory ranks.
I can certainly imagine, for instance, Defence Minister Peter MacKay, in an act of clear defiance, introducing a resolution in the House of Commons declaring that the new Lt. Uhura is “one hot dish.”
Of course, we can also expect the Opposition to grab onto this issue like starship tractor beam.
I predict one day soon Liberal leader Michael Ignatieff will show up in the House of Commons wearing form-fitted Vulcan ears and a blue Star Trek uniform.
After making the obvious joke about his sensors showing no signs of “intelligent life” across the aisle, Ignatieff will then denounce the government’s dangerous “hidden Star Trek agenda” as completely “illogical”.
Meanwhile, Bloc Quebecois leader Gilles Duceppe will demand the federal government recognize the Romulans as a distinct society.
Then before you can say “Beam me up Scotty” the government will fall.
Will all this really happen, you ask?
Yes, I guarantee all the things I have just mentioned will definitely come to pass; Canada without question will have a Star Trek election this summer.
There’s only one thing -- it might not happen in our universe or in our timeline.
More likely it will happen in some sort of alternate “mirror” universe, a universe where Harper has a beard and where NDP leader Jack Layton is a raging capitalist.
Here in our universe, we can expect our political leaders to go not so boldly where they have always gone before.
That means get ready for more partisan bickering, more parliamentary games and more cynical maneuverings.
It’s enough to make even a Ferengi sick.
