-Satire
When he was not begging President Bush to mail a $50 billion check to auto moguls in Detroit, or planning to burn all of President Bush's Executive Orders on the White House lawn, President-elect Obama was in secret meetings to discuss a major issue that has the potential to rip America to shreds.
The issue: Finding a suitable "mutt" to entertain the family and mainstream media for at least four years.
VP Joe Biden was initially considered for the role until his incontinence was disclosed. Finding a house broken mutt is an "absolute, non-negotiable must," top-level officials on the Obama Transition team stressed.
White House criteria for the mutt were "leaked" to the press and include the following:
*Must be an orphan currently residing in an animal shelter, and scheduled to be put down (snuffed) before January 20.
*Undocumented (no papers) a huge plus!
*Must respond to commands in Spanish, Arabic, Russian, and Ebonics.
*Must be bisexual or gay, blind or sight impaired, deaf or hearing impaired, with a certifiable disabling limp in two or more legs, or an acceptable combination thereof.
*Must be able to detect right-wing reporters and Republicans based on smell alone, and be able to bite said interlopers with minimal supervision traceable to the president.
*History of being promiscuous with a diverse breeds of mutts a major plus!
*No allergies allowed.
*Must be color blind, and good with children.
Good luck to the Obama family as they work to settle this gripping issue that has all of America's rapt attention!
John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal. “Clean and sober” since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. For years, John lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, the very liberal sanctuary city which protects, rather than prosecutes, certain favored criminals. John escaped the Bay Area in May and now lives in Pine Grove California where conservative values are still in vogue.
