Richard Taylor, a reformed British burglar, says there are many simple things that homeowners can do, such as buying a dog. The best deterrent is a dog, Taylor told The Daily Telegraph. “Burglars don’t like dogs, even small ones because they make too much noise.
But then again, no, a dog is not always man’s best friend, or a woman’s for that matter. Thanks to burglars becoming increasingly busy in Britain, some homeowners have taken to setting booby traps such as the classic garden pit beloved of comedy shows. Then there are large plant pots and ornaments connected to trip wires. Alas, a man’s home may be his castle but taking such precautions could land you in court, prosecuted as a criminal causing injury by the Crown as well as being sued by the injured burglar.
Taylor also advises homeowners to cover their house in brambles or thorn bushes, according to The Daily Telegraph. “Burglars don’t want to scratch themselves, because they don’t want to leave behind DNA in their blood and skin,” he says.
Roses, in climbing, shrubs and groundcover forms are probably the first to spring to mind. But not every rose is suitable thorny. Some of the most fiercely equipped are the Japanese beach roses, Rosa rugosa, and their hybrids. Firethorn, Pyracantha, will climb a wall or fence, decked with small white flowers in late spring followed by a bonus of colourful berries that persist well into winter, these and glossy green foliage concealing a goodly crop of thorns. For many years Japanese barberry, Berberis thunbergii, has been banished as a co-host of wheat rust disease. If you garden already sports this extremely prickly shrub with green or purple, yellow stems and red fruit you are in luck. It makes an excellent defensive hedge or individually planted close to the house as a foundation planting.
The succulent Spanish bayonet, Yucca glauca, looks as if it would be more at home in the southwestern deserts of the United States. In fact it is winter hardy even into Alberta, each leaf ending in a vicious spine that easily pierces the thickest of clothing. Do not accept its cousin, Adam’s needle, Y. filamentosa. Surprisingly, some true cactus are hardy across Canada – indeed, some are native here. Planted in gravelly, fast-draining soil, in full sun, the famed prickly pear, Opuntia, presents an awesome offense.
Tempting as it might be to resort to poison ivy, the use is to be discouraged as, once again the long arm of the law may intervene. Poison ivy is classified as an obnoxious weed and verboten on private land. Stinging nettles, an alien weed, might also work well. However, it will spread rapidly through roots and seed elsewhere in the garden.
Warning signs may or may not work. No, not because most burglaries are committed in the dark – they’re not. Recent thefts from electrical transformer installations have shown the futility of signs warning of possible electrocution. As we might expect, the British have topped this. At an undisclosed wall a well-made sign warns: “Danger Anti Climbing Device. Treated with Anthrax and a British sense of humour.”
Wes Porter is a horticultural consultant and writer based in Toronto. Wes has over 40 years of experience in both temperate and tropical horticulture from three continents.
