“Specter the Defector” Feted at White House

Yes, I now believe in Change, and Hope that it gets me re-elected in 2010. It is nice to be back for awhile…I mean, back. I know I can count on you to campaign for me in 2010. You can, in turn, count on me to change my votes anyway you want, abandon my previous views, and toe the party line until then,” he replied. “Great,” replied the slightly befuddled Chief Executive, “please drop by the White House tonight for a little get together.” Surprised, Specter agreed. Later that evening, Hugh was invited to cover the impromptu gathering at the White House. As he walked through the door of the White House Specter was hugged warmly by the President, then ushered into a dark ball room. Suddenly, the lights were turned on and the Former Democrat/Former Republican/Now Democrat Senator was greeted by a bawdy chorus line composed of Obama, Harry Reid, George Soros, Rahm Emanuel, Chris Mathews, Barney Frank and Nancy Pelosi who, accompanied by the White House band, belted out several raucous verses of “Hello Arley” to the tune of “Hello Dolly,” with their arms locked, high-kicking as they sang. After a night of drinking and dancing, Specter, who plans to run in the Pennsylvania Democratic Senate race in 2010--having no reasonable chance of winning since no one in the state trusts him anymore--was asked to say a few words. “I appreciate your support so much,” he began. “As the British Foreign Secretary Lord Palmerston once said, ‘England has neither eternal friends nor perpetual enemies; England has only eternal and perpetual interests.’ That, my current friends, is the Specter credo. I will level with you. You need me, and I need you. If turning my back on a party with whom I have been associated for decades gets me re-elected then that is what I will do. I have neither eternal friends nor eternal enemies, but merely an eternal interest in getting myself elected. This is a win-win for all of us--the President gets a lap dog for the next couple of years, and a potential “super majority;” I get to ride the President’s coat tails during my ill-fated run for the Senate in 2010. I was sure as hell going to get my butt kicked if I remained Republican, but have a better chance if I turn tail and run to the Democratic Party. If the President does not screw up, and maintains his present approval ratings, the people of Pennsylvania might even overlook the fact that I am a selfish, opportunistic, SOB whose word cannot be trusted. I might actually luck out and win.” Whereupon, a hush fell over the party attendees. “But if the unthinkable does happen, and I lose as a Democrat in 2010, well, I can always switch back. To my Republican friends I say (to borrow the words of the Governator): “I’ll be back.”