Stoos Views Exclusive: Senator Barbara “Boss Lady” Boxer and the Liberal Plantation

- Satire Fresh from insulting a respected General during recent Senate hearings by dressing down a patriotic American whose biggest crime was to call her "Madam," Senator ("You Can Call Me Babs") Boxer has struck again. This week, proving once again that she is the most arrogant and condescending member of the United States Senate, Babs directed her wrath toward Henry Alford, respected business leader and head of the National Black Chamber of Commerce.

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Alford, who has forgotten more about taxation and business issues than the panel before whom he was asked to testify will ever know, was repeatedly interrupted and insulted by Boss Lady Boxer. Her only apparent purpose in life was to demean a gentleman who was simply trying to vocalize a position on climate change and "cap and tax," and insult a black man who was not toeing the liberal party line on the issue. Hugh Betcha, Head of the Washington News Bureau of Stoos Views, and most respected reporter in America, was ringside during the exchange. The reporter, who watched in stunned disbelief, filed this report. "Welcome, Mr. Alford, on behalf of the Committee. I am Barbara Boxer." "Good morning Ma'am...." replied Mr. Alford, before being rudely interrupted by the Senator. "Excuse me, Mr. Alford," Boxer interrupted, as she put her face in her hands, grimacing, "it's just a thing with me. I have worked so hard to get where I am--a professional politician who knows nothing about business but is an expert at spending tax dollars, and I just do not like to be called 'Ma'am.' Do you understand me? When you come here to the Big House, you will show me respect. I expect to be addressed as 'Boss Lady' if you don't mind." A bewildered Mr. Alford, keeping his cool and attempting to begin his testimony on cap and trade, was again interrupted by Boss Lady, before he could get a word in edgewise. "Before you start, I am holding in my hands several position papers by people of the black persuasion like yourself, who, if they were here, would dispute that which you are about to testify to and which we have not heard as yet. These people totally refute what you are about to say and which we have not heard as yet," she replied adamantly. "But--" replied Mr. Alford, non-plussed. "Now these people, although they are not here and did not take the time out of their busy schedules to appear and testify before me, Boss Lady Boxer, were kind enough to fax me their positions on cap and trade--which happen to coincide with my own. And, although I am sure they, as black people like yourself, are proud to see you--an intelligent and articulate black man and a credit to your race--sitting here before the panel, the point is, they, being liberal, agree with me." "I resent this as a racist statement and am appalled that you would contradict me with the statements of people who are not even here. I am a veteran and the head of The National Black Chamber of Commerce. I took my time to come up here and--" Mr. Alford continued. "You were called here so I, Boss Lady, could dress you down just like I did that uppity General. You people have to understand your place. I am a white, liberal, rich lady, and have worked hard for the privilege of sitting here, insulting productive, respectable citizens like you and spending other people's money. I can say and do anything I want. You are here simply for window dressing, so we can say that we heard from people of all persuasions. It is just that your views are so abysmally out of touch with those of the majority of your people." With that, Mr. Alford walked out of the hearing and left the room. A stunned Stoos Views reporter approached the Senator during the break, to ask her about the exchange. Asked why she treated Mr. Alford so shabbily during the hearing, she replied: "You see, it is like this. All blacks are liberals. They think and act as one. That is why, every election, I can rely on getting the entire black vote. I am a liberal and I run this plantation. I am the establishment. They are merely voters who exist to vote me in every election because I promise them free stuff. Mr. Afford is an oddity--an aberration. We cannot afford to have any black people acting like conservative Republicans. If they stray off the Liberal Plantation, they must be put in their place."