Once upon a time in an Ontario far away there were so many charitable organizations fighting for our hard-earned dollars that someone, or, this being Canada, probably a committee, came up with the bright idea of lumping them all together into one big United Appeal. Alas, just as the merger of Presbyterians, Methodists and Congregationalists into one big United Church of Canada resulted in four churches instead of the one that was visualized, so too, the United Appeal succeeded in adding one more charity to the long line of solicitors. And over the past few years that list has gotten to be as long as a politician’s promises list.
It’s irritating enough having to cope with all the panhandlers on the downtown streets and in suburban shopping centers, but the registered beggars are becoming even more of a nuisance as they stuff our mail boxes with un-wanted name tags and note books, harangue us in our living rooms via TV and try to guilt-trip us outside the liquor and beer stores.
The various charities are now big business, helping the poor is providing plenty of good jobs. This is no reflection on the many volunteers who fight poverty on their own time.
Before going on vacation last year, I phoned my daily paper to cancel it for four weeks. The woman I contacted was ever so polite, and then spoiled it by asking me if I’d like to contribute the money I’d save on my subscription to the paper’s charity fund. I contributed, anyway, Even the banks have joined the ranks of the proliferating drummers.
A few weeks ago when I went to my bank branch, the teller was selling chocolate bars for some charitable organization in addition to her regular banking duties. After giving the begging problem considerable thought, I believe I have come up with a way to free us from the seemingly endless line of solicitors (apart from the panhandlers) before we all come down with a bad case of compassion fatigue.
Let’s designate one week when nothing much is happening, the first week in May or June for instance, as national welfare week. For this one week, the charities could pester us all as much as they like with street collections and mail and telephone requests. For that one week. big business, major sports clubs, movie theaters and rock concerts could donate a percentage of their profits. Every worker in the country, with the exception of low-wage earners, could contribute a half day’s pay.
All the lotteries and casinos would give one week’s take. The people who run the United Way, the Salvation Army or some other trusted organization would distribute to the various charities the amount they would normally receive in a year while shilling on their own.
There you have it. One whole week of being pestered, and 51 weeks of glorious freedom from the professional pesterers.
CFP “Poet in Residence” William Bedford was born in Dublin, Ireland, but has lived in Toronto for most of his life. His poems and articles have been published in many Canadian journals and in some American publications.
