The Obamas to Greet Incoming Passengers from West Africa!

--Satire --A HUGH BETCHA EXCLUSIVE In the face of overwhelming public sentiment that a travel ban should be imposed on incoming flights from Ebola-plagued West Africa in order to protect Americans from this killer disease, the President has decided to double down on his adamant refusal to consider such measures to protect his own citizens.

And, as usual, when the President decides to announce a new policy initiative or important development, he calls his longtime friend and confidante, Hugh Betcha, first. Hurrying to Foggy Bottom to meet with Obama after a late night call yesterday from the White House, Hugh was quick to respond. A reporter with great influence on both sides of the aisle, unlimited access to the President, a man who walks with kings and princes, winner of the 2014 MSNBC “Reporter We Would Most Like to Hang With” award and the 2014 Nobel Journalism Prize for his coverage on world health issues, Hugh Betcha filed this exclusive report with Canada Free Press. Settling into his favorite overstuffed chair in the Oval Office, he was briefed by the President on what Obama described as an important public policy announcement designed to allay public fears about airline travel from West Africa and respond to his critics, who claim that allowing unlimited flights from West Africa into the United States was tantamount to inviting the Reaper into our backyard. “Those 70 percent of the American public who say that incoming flights should be banned are just misguided,” the President stated sternly. “Who knows better than I, the President, about such matters?” “Well….” Hugh tried to respond. “—after all, didn’t I tell you that you could keep your insurance policy if you wanted; you could keep your doctor if you wanted; ISIS is just the Junior Varsity; and Al Qaeda is on the run?” “Yes, that is precisely the p---“ Hugh tried vainly to interject.

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“ --trust me, we have procedures in place to prevent the spread of Ebola into the United States and I have confidence that there will be no further outbreaks and we can stop the disease at the borders. I spent at least forty seconds the other day on the phone being briefed by the head of the CDC, before golfing and I am confident we are on top of the problem.” “Yeah but how about Duncan, and the two nurses who have now come down with it?” “That was a freak thing. We now have TSA and CDC people with little white masks on pointing those little temperature thingies at everyone’s head when they get off the planes from West Africa and they ask them if they have the disease and stuff—that ought to do it.” “Are you showing enough leadership on this issue?” Hugh inquired. “People say you spend too much time golfing and fund raising and not enough time addressing this problem.” “Well,” the President replied confidently, “I am prepared to prove them wrong,” “How so?” “Michelle and I are going to personally greet all incoming flights from West Africa next week, staying a day at each of the main points of arrival to prove that there is no problem with our system. Sort of a meet and greet thing if you will.” Stunned, the reporter replied: “Don’t you think Mr. President that you might be endangering yourself, your wife and your family by this stunt?” “No,” Obama replied, “it is worth whatever small risk is involved. After all, what is more important: the risk of being infected with a deadly disease that kills most of those who develop it or being considered a racist?” “Do really want an answer?” replied the reporter in disbelief. “Besides, it will improve our relations with Africa, show the world that we are kind and compassionate. And, Michelle will be there to promote healthy eating. She will be handing out turnip treats and broccoli crisps that have gone over so well in the school lunch program.” Copyright © 2014 William Kevin Stoos