This is a good week to catch up on reader correspondence concerning pressing national issues like government employee hydration. So stand by for the letters:
Did Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell really reverse former Democrat governor Tim Kaine’s ban on state purchases of individual–sized bottled water for government employees? I thought McDonnell was a REPUBLICAN! Is there really something in the water in Richmond? -- Hot & Hydrated Taxpayer
I cannot remember the last time I agreed with one of Kaine’s policies and now McDonnell goes and reverses it! Of course Kaine didn’t ban the bottles for the obvious reason that buying water is a waste of money. He did it to be “green.”
The last time I checked Richmond was still located in Virginia, not Botswana or Karjackistan or even DC. The water is perfectly safe to drink. I’ve done so myself.
The taxpayer’s liquid obligation to government employees begins and ends at the water fountain. (Well, maybe the toilet, too.) If Richmond tap water doesn’t meet the employee’s exacting standards, she can bring her own.
This whole bottled–water fetish is additional proof that rot in a society, like a fish, begins at the head.
I was still in Dallas when trendy, empty–headed pacesetters starting paying good money for Perrier — a French bottled water — to show how sophisticated they were.
Business owners could not believe their good fortune when these nitwits started paying two bucks for water that was free at the fountain. So now the entire populace is infected with this mental defect, but I don’t think taxpayers should be on the hook for an employee’s private neurosis.
The Washington metro area has some of the worst traffic in the nation. We are usually listed as fourth in time lost to gridlock. Don’t you think it would be a good idea to restrict driver’s licenses to those under 65–years–of–age and get the old codgers off the road? -- Not Able Heed the Call of the Open Road
Since rush hour traffic moves along at about 20 mph, elderly drivers should feel right at home in any of the three lanes. Besides a recent survey by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety shows older driver’s accident rates have declined by 37 percent, with the biggest drop among drivers over 80.
Researchers are baffled, but that’s because they are overlooking the obvious: elderly drivers are safer because they aren’t barreling down the highway while texting. Mainly because drivers over 65 don’t know how to operate a smart phone.
Younger drivers are whizzing down Interstate–95 “lol” and “OMG!!!!!!” to a fare–thee–well, while the elderly driver is so grateful the clock in the dashboard now keeps good time, thanks to those nice men in Japan.
An elderly motorist may occasionally be distracted by a minor stroke, but younger drivers are in a constant state of distraction that is driven by technology their grandparents don’t understand.
Our highways would be much safer if younger drivers were not allowed to drive autos that contained technology invented after 1966. That would eliminate most of the technology distractions and those that remain would be contending with wind noise and the body rattles from that era’s auto, which pretty much eliminates any cell phone conversations.
Texting is out too, since the primitive steering cars had then usually required two hands on the wheel at all times.
I don’t’ see that happening, though. But in the meantime, lay off older drivers. Grandma is much safer; unless she knows how to operate a camera phone and the grandkids are in the car...
Am I unemployable? Last week at a job interview I mentioned that I’m a people–person who enjoys a good “dialogue.” The interviewer frowned and said no one uses that word any more. He also checked my age again. He claims smart people and smart companies have “conversations.” So I checked. Everywhere I look people are “joining the conversation” or “part of the conversation” or “dominating the conversation.” Has language passed me by? -- Clueless on Clichés
Journalists and ad copywriters are an unholy duo when it comes to propagating clichés. As you’ve discovered “conversation” is the new “dialog,” which in turn replaced “rap” — each meaning an interesting discussion, open to all comers. Unfortunately, most of the “conversations” people actually hear are loudmouths yelling into their cell phones.
If you need something to do between job interviews, take a highlighter to the newspaper and see how many times “conversation” is used in the news columns and ads. You should be appalled. Our modern society produces clichés at a blinding rate.
Personally, I can’t get over the constant use by media types of “as well,” when they mean “too” or “also.” “As well” is the “like” of the pseudo–intellectual set and only serves to clutter up language.
As for being unemployable, moldy buzzwords are simply indicate a need for retraining, which may qualify you for stimulus funds.
